Healing Scars

Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven

Two months after the wedding Peeta has me on his lap as I sit there bawling into his chest. Seeing Gale brought to many memories back, to many flashbacks... It was terrible.

And when I read the letter I felt guilty... For everything. I'm guilty that I married Peeta, I'm guilty for being pregnant, and I know I shouldn't be but I am. Peeta can sense it too. He just holds me as wave after wave of tears go through me.

Peeta kisses my hair and I look up at the time. It's five in the morning, everyone left besides Johanna who was to drunk to go home with Fin and Annie. Peeta kisses my lips.

"I have to go to the bakery, you going to be okay?" I nod and he leaves. I move around the house and listen to Johanna calling Finnick a bastard in her sleep and me a bitch... So I move out in the garden. Buttercup follows me and I really don't want his company so I climb a tree and sit up there until I hear a guitar being strummed on my roof.

I jump onto the roof from the branch, almost falling and being a stupid pregnant woman. I look and see Gale with a guitar and I swallow. "Gale-" he shushes me and motions for me to sit. He starts strumming a song and I look up at him as the lyrics pour out of his mouth.

It's a lonely road

For the tired man

And he can see it in their faces

And you'll be home in spring

I can wait till then

I heard you're on the big train

And all this too shall pass

This loneliness won't last for long

I wasn't there to take his place

I was ten thousand miles away

So when you hear my voice

When you say my name

May it never give you pain.

I don't want to go

But it's time to leave

And be on my mind and my destiny

And I won't fight in vain

I love you just the same

I couldn't know what's in your mind

But I saw the pictures, you're looking fine

And there was a time

When I stood in line for love, for love, for love

But I let you go, oh, I let you go

And he fell apart

With his broken heart

And this blood, this blood, this blood

Oh it drains from my skin, it does.

As he strums the last strings tears are rolling down his face and he hands me a sheet of paper. "Think of me when you read these lyrics... The times we kissed and promised we loved each other." He kisses my lips softly for a long moment and smiles, standing up from the roof top.

He climbs down the tree and smiles softly. "Bye Catnip... I'll wait for you, forever and always." And that's how Gale Hawthorne leaves it. Gale is many things but he has never sang in front of me, heck I didn't even know he could sing.

I stuff the piece of paper in my pocket and sit on the roof until a hung over Johanna climbs up, puking halfway there. She sits next to me and leans her head against the cobbled stone chimney and looks at me. "Gale?" I nod and she giggles.

"Love is weird Katniss... That's why I'm never falling in love with anyone." I put my hand on my still flat belly and look up at her. "Do you think it's the right time for Peeta and I to have a child?" She shrugs and mumbles something.

"My opinion would be that you guys should've waited because I don't know if you can handle being pregnant." I swallow. "What do you mean?" She waves her hands in my face. "Hello? Is Katniss in there? Don't you remember how your mother would be trying to help women give birth and then most of the time they died or the baby did? Do you remember that your kid could die in this world?" I try to stop the images flashing through my mind and glare at her.

She grins. "Made you picture it didn't I?" "What should I do Johanna?" She shrugs. "Well you can't look back now... Just remember that those things could happen." I swallow the bile rising in the back of my throat. "I would rather die then my child." "Any mom would." She stands and looks at me.

"Now are you going to get Peeta back here to make me some hash browns or what? My stomach is killing me!" I climb down after her and get dressed, braid my hair, get my boots on, and walk to the bakery. Peeta is talking about the wedding still as he hands a man some cookies.

They both look at me and Peeta comes over and kisses my lips softly. "Hello my beautiful wife, what do you need?" The man watches us and I smile. "Could you come home please? Johanna wants some hash browns made to help with her hang over." He nods and looks at the man.

"Thank you for doing business with the Mellark bakery." We walk out with the man and lock the door. Some of the kids run over to us. They grab onto our legs and arms. We both laugh. "Mr. and Mrs. Mellark, can we have some candy?" Peeta looks down at them. "Well I need to take care of Mrs. Mellark right now but if you come back in two hours I'll make sure you guys have some candies." They nod and a little girl gives me a flower and I smile, smelling it.

"Lovely, thank you." She giggles and runs off with the rest of them. The children have taken a liking to the bakery for our sweets and Peeta gives them free candy often. I look at Peeta as we are walking back at our hands entwined and start feeling guilty about how Gale kissed me. I squeeze his hand. "P-Peeta?" He looks down.

"Yes Mrs. Mellark?" I love how my new name fits me but right now, it's killing me. "I need to tell you something." We stop and he kisses my four head. "You can tell me anything Katniss." I tell him about what happened and how Gale kissed me and how I kissed back... I didn't tell him about the song because I feel that is private.

Peeta looks hurt but nods slowly. "Well Katniss, I feel that we need to take a breather... For this week I'm moving back into my house and then I'll be back next week and we'll try to start off from where we were." I am about to protest when It starts playing all over again in my mind.

I nod and he walks back to his old house and I go back inside mine. Johanna has given up on Peeta and has started to make her own. Later that night the nightmares and flashbacks get so bad that I am crying and screaming for Peeta to run at the same time. I go over to Haymitch's and find him sleeping at his dirty table covered in grime and empty liquor bottles.

I move some and lay my head next to Haymitch's body and sigh. Not the best company but I know I am protected. The next morning I have a blanket wrapped around me and a pillow under my head. Haymitch walks in and hands me some orange juice. "So what did you do to the boy Katniss?" I look up at him. "I broke his heart again... By trying to heal someone else's." And that's how I leave it.

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