April 2014 - Leave it all Behind

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Chapter 40

April 2014 - Leave it all Behind

'Sincerely, Amelia’

I signed the letters, placed them in their envelopes and looked at them sitting on the kitchen bench. ‘Sophie’ and ‘Ryan’ written in my handwriting. This was harder than I thought it would be. Every time I felt as though I would change my mind, I just thought of how they hurt me and it reinsured me that I was making the right decision. I couldn’t stay here anymore. I needed to move on and the best way to do that is to remove myself from the equation. I was glad that the job offer was still mine for the taking. At least I was needed somewhere.

I left Sophie’s letter on the bench and I placed Ryan’s at the front of his door. I picked up all my bags and made my way down to Tom who had been nice enough to drive me to the airport. I was thankful for Tom. Since I wasn’t on speaking terms with Sophie or Ryan, I had gone to Tom a lot lately.

The drive was long but I got to talk to Tom one last time before I moved. He promised to look after everyone and make sure they didn’t miss me too much at the bookstore. He said that he would make sure that Sophie and Ryan got the letters and that he would explain it to the others. I couldn’t really go through goodbyes. I thought that just leaving would be easier on everyone. It would be as if I was never there. Sophie and Ryan would be free to do whatever they wish. The thought still makes me sick to the stomach.

We arrived at the airport. I was starting to get a little shaky. I had never been on my own before, not completely. I always had someone with me but this time, I was on my own. I was nervous. Hopefully I adjusted quickly. My flight was called which meant it was time for me to go. I gave Tom a hug, “Don’t forget to give my mum my new number when she calls okay”

“Okay. I’ll forget”

I laugh, “I’m going to miss you so much”

“Mel, I’ll be over there in a flash if you need me. I am just a phone call away”

I released him, “I know. You better come visit”

“Same goes to you”

With that, I got on my plane and was headed to my new life. It was going to be a clean slate. Although this was what I needed, what I wanted, I couldn’t help but feel this wave of guilt. Why is it that no matter how much they hurt me, I still end up feeling bad? This was it though, this was going to be good for me. I needed some time to clear my head. Nothing they said would change that, I was leaving and I wasn’t planning on coming back anytime soon.

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