A Glimpse of Forever

October 2012 - Disapproval

Chapter 18

October 2012 - Disapproval

NO! No, no, no, no, just no. Nothing about this was okay. How, why? There was no way that I was ever going to agree with this. Nope. I’m done. I’ve had it. I believe I have repeated these words several times in the past few hours. I also believe that I may or may not have ‘accidently’ knocked over a few chairs and tables. Sophie tried her best to calm me down. A few people had a go at calming me down but nothing worked. Sophie offered me alcohol, which I took but it didn’t solve anything. William suggested that I go for a walk for some fresh air and I threw a lamp at him. Tom agreed to help me kill the bitch, which I was happy with but everyone stopped us before we could reach the door and then Chris kind of just sat back and watched.

Okay so last week Ryan came over and introduced his new ‘female pal’ to the group. Her name is Tessa and I’m convinced that she is the devil reincarnated. First impression of her was nice. She seemed kind and friendly, the kind of person that I could have gotten along with. But then she had to go and complain about me to Ryan. The worst part is that he actually agreed with her! I HATE THEM! I hate them all. Alright, so I didn’t hate them all, just Tessa. After she left, she told Ryan that I was loud and irritating and instead of sticking up for me, he said, ‘Yeah, she can be’. I can be? What the hell? I’m not overly loud, only when I’m angry or drunk. How was I irritating? I was nothing but nice to her, I invited her into my home and made her a cup of tea. We shared a similar taste in movies. It was all going swell. I can’t believe that Ryan did nothing. Oh did I mention that she thinks that I am in love with him. Yep. So although I have been dating Chris for almost 10 months and we live together, I am madly in love with Ryan. Where was my friend when I needed him to defend me? Agreeing with her. He actually told her that I most likely was and then told her about me admitting it, which I did over a year ago.

It’s not like I was mad or anything. Of course not. I was completely, utterly….furious. Tessa walks into my home and judges me, who does she think she is? Just because she has started dating one of my closest friends does not give her the right to look down on me. And that’s exactly what I was planning on telling Ryan when I stormed over to his apartment.

I told everyone that I was going to go get some air and that I wanted to be on my own for a bit. Chris was the only one who knew what I was going to do and he let me. He understood that I was pissed and that I deserved to be.

I violently banged on the door with fists full of rage. My face was burning and my head felt as if it would explode at any minute. When Ryan answered the door with that stupid smile of his, it only made my outrage grow.

“RYAN!” I pushed past him and entered his apartment, “Ryan, I need to talk to you”

He shut the door, looking at me jumbled, he didn’t know what was going on.

“Mel-“

“No! I’m speaking and you are going to listen” He nodded and I continued, “You sir, are a horrible friend”

“Wha-“

“What did I say?” He stopped trying to speak to me after that.

“Right. You are a horrible friend because you just agree with Tessa no matter what she says, even if it’s insulting your friends. If she is going to make you say and do things that you don’t agree with then you shouldn’t have to pretend just so that she likes you. There are plenty of girls out there who would and do love you for you, without asking you to change. And I bet that they won’t find me irritating or loud. Well, maybe loud but some people find it charming”

“Are you done?”

“No. I would also like to add that I am certainly not in love with you and even thinking that I was is completely stupid and illogical. Using what I said and felt over a year ago is not fair on me and those emotions have nothing to do with my current ones”

“Noted”

“Okay, now I’m done”

I waited for the fight, waited for Ryan to start yelling at me or something but it never came. Instead, he walked over to me and pulled me into a hug, “I’m sorry that I upset you. You’re right. She wasn’t a great person, she broke up with me yesterday because I defended you”

“You…and her…you defended me?”

“Yes. Of course I did. You are my best friend and I wasn’t going to stand by and let someone like Tessa judge you. She doesn’t know you like I do”

“Well, what did you say?”

Ryan let go of me, walking over to the door, pulling it open and gesturing to my apartment, “I’ll never defend and tell. You better go back and tell everyone that you yelled at me and it’s because of your speech that I broke up with her”

“I think you should tell me and you want me to lie and tell them that I won and that you broke up with her so they don’t know that actually she broke up with you? Sounds good”

“I’ll tell you one day. Not today but one day”

“Why not now?”

“Melly, you aren’t ready now”

“Ready for-“ Ryan had shut the door on me. Well, he clearly wasn’t going to tell me what he said to Tessa.

I did as I was told, I explained to everyone that I yelled at him and that he agreed with everything that I had to say and it caused him to call her right then and break it off. They believed me and continued going on with their lives. I sat there, listening to their conversations and letting my mind wonder. It had wondered back to what Ryan had said. What wasn’t I ready for? And why wasn’t I ready for it? One day couldn’t come soon enough.