A Glimpse of Forever

March 2014 - The Hardest Things to Hear

Chapter 39

March 2014 - The Hardest Things to Hear

I always wondered if people could feel when bad things were about to happen in the moments leading up to it. If they did, would they avoid it or would fate intervene and somehow force them to walk down that path? I don’t know if I would have preferred to know before, to have some kind of warning or to be completely blind when it came to bad things occurring. In the case of the most recent event, I was blind, stuck in the darkness. I don’t know if it was because I was oblivious to the issue at hand or if I just ignored the signs. Either way, the outcome had rendered me broken, pieces of me scattered around the floor.

I had just gotten home from work. It hadn’t been a difficult day but I didn’t feel up to doing much. Just as I sat down, ready to watch one of my many shows, there as a knock at the door. After mentally complaining, I got up and opened it. Ryan was standing before me, “Hey”

“Hi”

I let him come in and he sat on my couch. He looked as though something was troubling him. Of course this made me panic. What if something bad had happened? Being the curious soul that I am, I asked, “Are you okay? You look a tad upset”

He looked over at him and dread covered his face, “Actually Mel, there is something bothering me and I need to talk to you about it”

I walked over and took the seat beside him, gently placing my hand on his shoulder, “Of course. What’s wrong?”

Ryan looked down at his hands, “I’ve done something. Something terrible”

“Alright. Tell me what happened, maybe it’s not as terrible as you think it is”

“No Mel. It’s terrible and you are going to hate me”

“I could never hate you”

Ryan lightly sniffled, “Trust me, you will after you find out what happened…” I was starting to worry. Ryan never got like this. I didn’t know how to reply so I just let him talk, “…I screwed up and I can’t fix it…”

He looked at me, staring into my eyes, “…Amelia, I slept with someone when you were gone for that month”

I couldn’t register the information that I was given. I didn’t know how to react because my brain couldn’t manage to process it. Instead of saying anything, I listened as Ryan deepened the wound, “I didn’t mean for it to happen. She was there and it…”

I interrupted, not caring for what he was saying, “Who?”

Ryan looked at me blankly, “Who was she?”

He hesitated, “…Sophie”

I think I finally understood, my mind finally took everything in. This crushing feeling had taken over my chest and my head began to pound. I wanted to cry, scream, abuse him but I didn’t.  I continued the conversation as calmly as I could, “Why?”

“I could give you a hundred excuses but I don’t have a reason why. It just happened”

I wasn’t in control anymore, a tear managed to roll down my cheek, “I think you should go”

“Amelia…” Ryan went to grab my hand, “No. Please don’t. Please just leave”

Ryan walked out and left me alone to cry and cry I did.

I honestly thought that Ryan was different, I thought that he loved me enough to not hurt me like this, I was sadly mistaken. I didn’t know what to do with myself, I didn’t know what to feel or think. I didn’t want to be here anymore, this city, this apartment. I wanted to get out, to run away. And that’s exactly what I planned to do.

I picked up my phone, dried my eyes and dialled, “Yes, hello. This is Amelia Brooks speaking. I was just wondering if your offer was still open…”

“…It is? Perfect”