1𝙉𝙊𝙏 𝘼 𝙎𝙐𝙋𝙀𝙍𝙃𝙀𝙍𝙊ʳᵉⁱᵈ

4 | red

red

f o u r

It was her first night home alone after the incident. Addien had offered to stay but she declined. She had to get through this on her own, to prove that she was strong. She didn't want to let her attacker know he had got to her.

She did her normal routine, cleaned, cooked, ate, but when her shower came along, she found herself staring at the marks on her body, picking at her skin, looking in disgust at her own face.

"You want it, I know you do"

She gripped her hair tightly, like he had, pulling on it, wishing to rip it out of her head. Tears streamed down her face as she pulled out strands of her own hair.

"Take it, you whore!"

She reached for the scissors, finally deciding that her method of ripping chunks out, wasn't working. She looked in the mirror, the tears fell faster as she shakily raised her hand and chopped her hair off, starting at the bottom of her ear. She cried harder once it was finished. She had let him get to her.

"Such pretty hair"

She looked back in the mirror. It wasn't enough, she still looked the same, she had to change it. She looked in her cabinet, finding the red hair dye that she had been meaning to use but was always too busy to. She took deep breaths as she tried to calm herself, steady her hand.

After she was finished, waiting and all, she got into the shower where she tried to forget about it, watching the red hair dye drain away, the dirt from the previous things, she was going to put it behind her. She was stronger than what she let on.

She cleaned up her haircut, layering it the way her mom had taught her, and she cleaned up the mess before going to rest. Once her eyes closed, she was out, but sadly, it wasn't a dreamless sleep.

She was walking back, feeling slightly awkward as she had just been told to do some rather, inappropriate things. Her hand ran through her hair as she passed by another alleyway. Suddenly, she was pulled into one, and slammed into a wall.

"Take it, you whore!"

"Please no! Please don't do this!"

"You want it, I know you do"

"No, no! I don't want it! I don't! Please don't do this...HELP! SOMEONE PLEASE! HEL-mph!!"

He had slammed his vile lips against her's, muffling the screams and pleas.

"Such pretty hair" He whispered to her after he removed his mouth, ripping her shirt open and slamming his mouth onto her's once again.

She cried, his tongue invaded her mouth as his fingers invaded her. She was crying so hard, trying to beg him to let her go, to stop, but he wouldn't listen.

She shot awake, her head hurt, her body hurt, covered in a cold sweat, tears streaming down her face.

"Only 7% of rape victims reveal that they were raped,"

She held herself and rocked back and forth.

"You're gonna be okay"

She repeated and her grip tightend.

"I'm gonna be okay"

"Possibly because I grew up not feeling very confident about my own physical appearance, I developed internal devices so that I could integrate into society"
- Shirley Manson