1𝙉𝙊𝙏 𝘼 𝙎𝙐𝙋𝙀𝙍𝙃𝙀𝙍𝙊ʳᵉⁱᵈ

40 | we all knew this would happen sooner or later but it's still cute

we all knew this would happen sooner or later but it's still cute

f o r t y

She sat on the bed, his socks on her feet and an oversized t-shirt on. He was sat in front of her, also on the bed.

"Uh, w-well, it was all good in the beginning, my head was the only thing that hurt, well, that and my hands"

She rubbed her wrist, glancing at him through her lashes before looking at the bed and biting her lip.

"Tell me about yourself lalka"

"He wanted to know more about me, he knew that everything I told him when we were 15 was a lie. I didn't say anything at first, making him angry. He cut me, r-right here"

She pulled the shirt up to show him the scars on her inner thighs, he had already seen them, but she felt it was easier to show him.

"What do you want?"

"You, it's that simple, you left so quickly, I never got to say goodbye"

"I asked him what he wanted, he said....he said he wanted me, because he never got a chance to say goodbye"

She bit the inside of her cheek and let out a ragged breath, continuing.

"He said I was the only special thing on this earth. I told him my favorite color, he asked if I had continued learning Polish after the ordeal. He then went on to talk about how he had people infiltrate Operations, and he got ahold of my files, telling me about my past, and then he brought up you"

She looked at him, his brows furrowed as he listened to her every word.

"I told him that you had nothing to do with this, he said that you did. We were leaving in 4 days, and he gave you three because he said that he wanted to watch my face as I realize you weren't showing up, and I told him, I told him you would find me, he just laughed and left"

She licked her lips, looking around the room.

"He came back and was asking questions again, when he got tired of me not talking, he put a rag over my face and...drowned me. When I came to, he was cutting me with a knife. I started crying and he sai-said that I was pretty when I cried...oh god, I was terrified. He resorted to burning me with cigarettes when he got tired of the drowning. He asked me about you, and I told him how you were sweet, h-he got angry. He had an iron fire poker, and he"

He wiped some tears away and she sighed.

"He hit me, over and over and over again. He was yelling about you as he hit me. It hurt so fucking bad, I thought I was going to die, I really did in that moment. When he stopped, I told him that you treated me better than he did, and he called me a bitch"

She sucked in a harsh breath, moving closer to him as the memories came back. The feeling of his hands on her body, she whimpered and hugged Spencer tighter.

"I begged him not to do it, but he just quoted Jennifer Brown, saying that she said there was always time for pain. It hurt to move, to breathe, all I could do was cry, and he just laughed and did his worse"

The tears were falling freely now, his fingers running through her hair in an attempt to soothe her as she trembled.

"It was worse than the first time, he was so r-rough"

She buried her head into his chest, crying harder.

"And I tried to think about you, what you said to me the first time I met you. He did it a lot, and it hurt more each time, he would inflict more pain everytime, either with a knife o-or"

She shook her head furiously and wiped her tears, pulling away from his chest.

"And when he noticed that I was zoning out, he got worse. At first, it was just his f-fingers, but aft-after......I didn't want it, I didn't want it at all, I begged, I pleaded, but h-he didn't care...he only cared about himself"

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry"

He held her as she broke down, sobbing into his shoulder.

"He was gonna do...do it again, w-when you came in. I was so glad, thanking whatever higher power or God or whatever, I was just so fucking happy to see you"

He just listened, comforting her.

"I love you, Spencer"

He didn't even think twice, the words left his mouth so effortlessly, like he was meant to say them.

"I love you too Karyn"

"Her salty eyes, told me stories that made my heart weep. I wanted to wrap her up in a blanket, and tell her she was safe forever, and so I did"
- Atticus