1𝙉𝙊𝙏 𝘼 𝙎𝙐𝙋𝙀𝙍𝙃𝙀𝙍𝙊ʳᵉⁱᵈ

28 | a safe haven

a safe haven

t w e n t y - e i g h t

She was walking down a hall, it was familiar yet she couldn't recognize it. Her hair was long and blonde, her shirt was tight, and her skirt was short. She looked down and was suddenly pushed up against a wall roughly.

"Take it you whore!"

She looked at his face as she cried and pleaded, he wasn't wearing a mask. He had cold, blue eyes, thin lips, dark hair. Suddenly, there was an explosion and she was sat with Addien.

"You left me, how could you?"

"I'm so sorry"

"But are you?"

Addien looked at her and held up a detonater.

"We can do this together Rynie, this is our way of forgiveness"

"No, you don't want that"

"I don't have anything to live for, why not?"

Suddenly, Addien disappeared and there stood Feli and Abegail, a silhouette stood behind them, his hands on their shoulders.

"Who's giving you instructions?!"

She was yelling at them, Feli looked away, acting as if he couldn't hear her. Abegail was smirking.

"If I told you, what fun would it be?"

Abegail suddenly looked back at the silhouette as he spoke, deep and disoriented.

"Finish her"

She shot up, crying and shaking. What was going on, why was this happening?

"Hey, everything's alright, I've got you"

He had pulled her into his chest, caressing her gently, calming her.

"I don't think I should become a profiler"

He nodded and kissed her forehead, whispering sweet nothings into her ear.

It was their first night back home after the case. She was letting it eat her up, when she shouldn't have been there in the first place.

He felt so terrible for asking her to go, if he wouldn't have asked, she'd be alright right now.

She held him tighter as a new wave of tears washed over her, the nightmare had her thinking about that night, that night she lost any shred of dignity she had, it was so fresh in her mind that it was like it had happened yesterday.

She had bottled up the feelings, refused to see a therapist, refused to talk about that night. She just wanted to forget about it, acting like it didn't happen. She was able to talk about simple things, like if she was alright with sex after it, well, acting like it didn't happen means she's alright with sex, but she's really not. She knows there's more than just physical contact when you have sex, more than pleasure, because in that moment, you connect with the person, and she didn't want to connect with anyone, not anymore, she may act like she's completely fine with it, and she knows she's got to get over it, but as long as she keeps acting like nothing happened, she'd be alright.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"No"

She was quick to reply, and he was quick to notice there was something wrong, but it was 4 am, and they both had to be up at 8, they needed sleep.

He kissed her forehead and she cuddled closer, kissing his neck and curling into him. He was her safe haven, with him, nothing could harm her, he was there when she needed someone most, and he helped her, without him, no one would have known and she'd be suffering even more.

"Where do you feel safest?"

They were just cuddling, listening to some tv show talk about safe places or things. The question was just them joking, but she smiled and pecked his lips.

"With you"

He smiled and kissed the side of her mouth, lips lingering for a moment before he pulled away and licked his lips.

"When someone feels safe with someone else, it could turn out to be a terrible decision. They could have lied about everything they told you, you could know nothing but think you know everything"

She smiled and kissed him once more.

"Thanks for that, Spency Spence"

"Are you really calling me that now?"

She giggled and nodded.

"I just want to sleep. A coma would be nice. Or amnesia. Anything, just to get rid of this, these thoughts, whispers in my mind. Did he rape my head, too?"
- Laurie Halse Anderson