Alpha's Shattered Mate √

Chapter | 16 | edited

Bethany ~
In this messed up world there are things that every living beings have in common,  even animals,  and that is fear, 

fear of trusting someone because of all the betrayal you've felt,

fear of not being able to let go,

  fear of not being good enough for everyone to like,  there are many many more but the fear that I've felt for years and years is fear of loving someone because like me I've only felt love for a little until it turns against me crushing everything that I've come to know about love,  and now that I've found my mate who wants a chance at love that I lack at is even harder. I know that I won't give him everything that he hopes of receiving from a mate, but a tiny spark in me hope that he would wait.

I stare aimlessly at the wall of the school's building,  finding it more interesting then opening up to someone,  but soon or later I'm going to have to start,  I can't have him waiting for something or someone who has a major fear of loving someone.

"Please understand me,  I can't give you everything right away-"

he cut me off

"I know you can't and I know I can't either but I will wait until you are ready,  I will give you everything that I can give"

I returned my attention back at the wall,  nervous of what the outcome will be if I were to open up towards Shane,  my mate,  a mate that I've met less then a month ago,  the alpha of second largest pack,  my mate.

So after a few minutes that felt like hours I began my story,  I took a breath still unsure and remembering from the very beginning.

"when I was fifteen I  was with a boy,  the only friend I ever had,  made me feel like someone,  it's surprising  actually a miracle that I was with someone,  you see I was the nerd,  he was the captain of the football team,  we were boyfriend and girlfriends at night and didn't act like friends or if we knew eachother at days,  we didn't tell anyone of our secret relationship afraid of what would happen,  I was madly in love with him,  I felt like he was my everything,  I didn't care that we only saw each other at nights, but one day I came home from a run,  I saw his car,  I thought he was in my room waiting for me,  like he would always do,  but when I entered and ran upstairs.....I saw him,  with my step mother"

I turned my attention back at Shane,  who was quite and patiently waiting for my sorry to continue, 

"when I saw them I fled,  and lived with my mother,  there I lived for two year's,  I trained and changed,  I became the leader of the strongest gang and found friends and family along with love,  Alexander was his name , god we were engaged,  but that didn't last long either he came home like Liam he was with another girl but he didn't just broke my heart again he abused me and treated me like crap, he didn't know of my gang life but when I had enough I ran away from him, only to be caught by him again,  he tortured me,  and showed me how much he "loved" me,  months later I finally  had the nerves,  I thought I killed him that night. After my captivation I returned back to my old life,  a life that I hated,  I had planned on not falling in love again but only to finish school but my goal didn't quite reached,  I was stupid and reckless I fell in love with another,  I opened my heart again,  this time he was better,  Ryder Watson,  he was also the bad boy of the school,  he wasn't like any other two that I've fallen in love with,  he was patient with me, we were together for a few weeks until I received a message,  a message from my dead fiance,  I thought I had killed him that night but when he found out where I was living he attacked us,  that only received a loss of memory,  I had forgotten things,  even Ryder but he was there every step of the way,  helped me regain my memories,  and when I did,  Alexander came back I thought he was there to finish me off  but he didn't came for me,  he came for Ryder,  that day he died,  I was again broken,  broken after another and another,  I wanted revenge and I was going to get it but I failed,  I found out that he died so I didn't get my revenge,  I became hollowed,  so I moved here where I found more secrets"

by then I finished I didn't noticed the tears was coming down my cheeks, staining my cheeks,  the only reason I took noticed of them was because Shane had wiped it,  I looked into his eyes and saw tears in them,  he was crying for me, 

"so yes Shane,  I've been broken hearted so many times that I have nothing,  I can't find the strength to look for love,  when I  found out that I was a werewolf  who has a mate I was afraid,  that he would be like every guy that I've ever loved,  but there was a part of me that wished I was just being paranoid,  but can you blame me? "

by now I was crying river,  he held me in his arms,  stroking my hair.

"I can't be the perfect mate for you but I promise you this,  I will never ever hurt or leave you,  I've waited for you for so long to let you go,  so Amaya,  I will show you the love you've always deserved,  and give you all the love I can give, because from the very moment I saw you, I knew that I will love you no matter what,  so let me tend your heart and treasure it"

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Omg I'm cryinggggggggggg,
Okay tbh I'm not the lovey  type but I did pretty damn okay.