Where the Paths Take Me [COMPLETED]

[Editing] Chapter 9 ~ Now That You Know ~

Megumi's POV

I sat hugging my knees close to my chest. I was wrapped in the covers of my futon. I recalled Kise-kun asking me about my scar earlier today. It hurts.. My chest hurts. Kise-kun has only been here for a few weeks but, I feel that he has already done so much for me. But, I doubt that things will be the same once he knows the things that I've done. I couldn't blame Aunt Noriko for telling him because he has every rights to know. He has the rights to know what a monster I am. He's angry at me.

I don't know what to do. Ignoring him and running away won't do me any good. He's my first friend in forever. What if I lose him too? I already lost all of them 10 years ago. Even the ones closest to me has labeled me as a monster. An animal. A beast!

All I wished to do was protect Hicchan. I wanted to protect her and come out of that ordeal alive. But, something in me cracked and all hell went loose.

I can't really recall how I survived. Or how was I able to do such damage to the men back then. All I saw was red colour spattering, darkness and my twin sister lying limp in my arms. As for my emotion, all I felt was a surge of pain and heat in my heart. Something everyone describes as a monstrous beast's instict to kill. Or what my grandfather said to be a uncontrolable anger that a person feels in times of weakness and pain.

He tried to heal me. Grandfather tried to heal me with every knowledge he had. I found my peace in the mountain forest.

"If you have that much energy and power to store anger, why not unleash it in a form of strength that can be used to protect others as well as yourself.." that was what my grandfather always said. So I trained everyday after I finish my home school lessons. I wanted to go out there once again when I was ready. I wanted to be accepted again once I return to the outside world.

Unfortunately, my sins are still intact. When grandfather passed away, his last wish was for me to be strong and that I was ready. It was during my second year of Middle School. I returned right after summer vacation. I wanted to respect grandfather's wishes and to believe in myself that I no longer felt that anger in me. I wanted to show that I was no longer a monster. But, as I have mentioned, my sins remained.

I was insulted and bullied as soon as I returned to school. At first they were scared and only did mild actions but, when they saw how tamed I have become, they took the upportunity to take vengeance for the things I have done as a child. No one forgot what I did and no one cared of the efforts I did to redeem myself.

I have sinned thus this is the only way for me to pay for it. I must not hurt anyone else. I must not let anyone get hurt because of me. If others cannot be hurt, then I am more than glad to take all the pain for them.

I buried my face in my knees and let the pain envelope me. I let the pain seep into my heart that I took as a reminder that I am what they call as the cursed child.

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I don't know how long I have cried. This happens sometimes when the pain overflows. But, by the time I realised that I stopped crying, the sun was already rising in the horizon. Its rays creeping through the small opening between the sliding door and giving a slash of light on my face.

I never slept that night, didn't I?

I slowly stood up and went over to my closet. I had to sort things out.

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Author's POV

Kise stood by the river, still deciding whether to go after Megumi or not. He had already heard of her past from Noriko but, there were still many that he doesn't know. He wanted answers. He wanted to know more about Megumi.