Seeing The Light In Your Eyes

16- "See you tomorrow."

Cas sighed as he shut and locked the door behind Dean. He went to go lie down. He knew he probably wasn't going to sleep. Wasn't exactly sure why he told Dean that.

He curled up into a little ball on the bed. He held his wrists close to him. Dean really didn't know how bad his self harm was.

They check wrists.

No one checks thighs.

Cas closed his eyes. He rubbed his hand up and down the bandage.

He needed to stop doing this to himself.

Cas threw his glasses on the nightstand and dug his head into his pillow. He cried ugly tears. And ugly noises. Whines and sounds you couldn't describe without using the word ugly. Cas didn't care that his pillow would be soaked before he ever fell asleep tonight. If he fell asleep.

Cas had late, late classes. He hadn't told Dean the reason he'd gotten his classes so late.

It was because there were less people.

Less people to see the scars.

Less people to know he was gay.

Less people to see the tears.

Less people to judge him.

It was 10:04 PM.

Class started at 10:30 PM.

He sat up and changed into his uniform. Cas was glad the uniform had long sleeves.

Cas had noticed Dean hadn't called yet. He was probably home by now.

Was Dean okay?

Is Dean hurt?

Did Dean leave him?

Would Dean come back?

What happened?

Cas calmed himself.

It was traffic.

Or the phone was out.

Or he lost the number.

Or he can't call right now.

Cas pushed his nail stubs into his right arm and sighed. He ran his hands through his hair and walked out into the living room.

He still needed to clean up the bathroom. He could do it tomorrow.

He put on an Elvis record and it began playing. Cas smiled at the music and sat by the phone in his bedroom. He wished Dean had given him his number too.

If the clock reached 10:20 PM and Dean still hadn't called, he would leave for school.

Dean answered Sam's question with the last girl he'd been with, basically half the girls he'd been with, actually, "she's blonde, big boobed, got great hips, and she's amazing in bed," he told him, "and that's about all I got. I don't remember stuff like this. Since when do you ask things like this?"

"Oh, I was just wondering, I didn't get to see her," he simply replied, as he picked up his book from the table once again.

"You, never see them," Dean pointed out.

"I've seen a few," he said, while looking down at his book and eating more popcorn.

Angel took a piece of popcorn and tossed it up in the air, it landed directly in her mouth. "Yes!" She whisper yelled.

"Did you just... steal my popcorn?" Dean asked her giving her a glare.

She shrugged, "maybe."

"You steal anymore and I'm kicking you out," Dean threatened.