Trip Ko Lang

Trip Ko Lang(43)

Trixia's POV
I was awaken by a lip brushing ever quickly to mine. Binuksan ko ang aking mata only to find Sean biting his lips as he stares at me.

"Good morning." ani ko at kinuwit sa kanyang leeg ang aking mga braso. Nilapit ko ang akong mukha at hinalikan siya muli, mas mapusok kesa sa halik niya kanina.

Ngumuso siya, "About what you said yesterday, para sa'kin ba yung 'Mahal Kita' o dahil nahihibang ka na si JD ako?" he said after our lip-locking.

"Syempre! Para sa'yo yun! I am very aware of you presence yesterday at ikaw talaga ang sinabihan ko ng 'mahal kita'. As Sean. Why'd you ask anyway?" sambit ko habang hinahaplos ang kanyang pisngi, "Ikaw ba, did you mean it when you said you love me too?"

Matagal kaming nagkatitigan. Napawi ang ngiti ko ng hindi siya nagsalita. Yumuko ako para itago ang aking mukha sa kahihiyan na baka hindi mutual ang feelings namin. Mukhang mare-reject pa ako ngayon! Tsk.

Suminghap siya at hinawakan ang aking baba para magka-lebel kami ng tingin, "I mean it when I said I love you too. But I don't really know if your I love you is even sincere or not. You love JD and You love me too, right? Who knows if you're only using me as a rebound? Panakip-butas? Seeing how desperate you were for JD, I don't think you'll another guy that easy, Trix. Ngayon sabihin mo, do you really love me...as someone with romantic feeling or as a rebound?"

Seryoso ang tingin niya. Pakiramdam ko malulusaw na ako rito dahil sa tindi ng titig niya sa'kin kaya umiwas ako ng tingin. Not because I'm guilty that I'm using him as a rebound but because I feel like drowning in his eyes...getting addicted to him more and more.

I know my answer to his question. Of course I love him because of my romantic feelings for him but I was also bothered by the thought of him, being my rebound. I couldn't blame him though, parang kahapon lang desperada akong makuha si JD tapos ngayon ay nakikipaghalikan na ako sa aking besfriend. Come to think of it, parang minamadali ko nga ang lahat.

"I love you, Sean. I know that for the past months, I've been head over heels to JD but I realized that it was only a mere infatuation. Ang nararamdaman ko naman sa'yo ay something I've longed before...to be more than just your bestfriend." Nakita ko ang gulat sa kanyang mukha. Pinatuloy ko ang aking sasabihin, "Before, mahal na talaga kita. More than just as your bestfriend. Alam kong mali ang mainlove sa sariling bestfriend at takot akong iwasan mo ako pag umamin nga ako. So when I met JD, I tried to divert my attention to him instead of yours. It was not hard to love JD kaya at one point, I like him. The reason I'm desperate for him is that because siya lang ang kayang pumantay sa'yo at pwedeng maging kami since hindi ko siya bestfriend. Sabi ko nga ay, magmahal na ako ng iba, wag lang sa aking bestfriend."

Kinagat ko ang aking labi at hinintay siyang magsalita.

"So you really love me? Not JD?" umaliwalas ang kanyang mukha.

"Oo nga sabi eh! Hahalikan ba kita kung h-" naputol ang aking sinabi ng bigla niya akong halikan.

It was a chaste and gentle kiss na tila ba ay iniingatang hindi mamula at mamaga ang aking labi. Damn! Mapusok man o hindi, nakaka-addict pa rin ang mga halik niya!

Umalis agad kami ng hotel after eating breakfast. Sean was the one driving since he insisted. Hindi ko maiwasang madistract at punain na naka-holding hands kami while he was driving. Hindo ko tuloy maiwasan ring palihim na ngumiti. Ang siga rin ng isang 'to, isang kamay lang ang gamit sa pagmamaneho!

Gumaan na ang aking pakiramdam. Yung sakit na nasa dibdib ko ay tuluyan ng nawala. And all along, akala ko yung pag-amin kong talo na ako matapos makita si JD at Aira kagabi ay siyang magpapaalis ng sakit sa puso ko. Iyon pala, the greater portion of pain is actually about Sean leaving me. I'm glad that I've finally got the courage to confess all these things. Nawala na ng tuluyan ang lahat ng pangamba ko.