Trip Ko Lang

Trip Ko Lang(42)

Trixia's POV
It fucking hurts!

Nilunok ko sa isang lagukan ang shot ng tequila after licking the salt. Kasabay ng pag-inom ko ay ang dahan-dahang pagpatak ng luha sa aking mga mata. I then quickly suck the juice of the lemon. Tila kay asim ng nakita ko kanina.

A scene played right into my mind. I remember how I snuck behind the rooftop's door only to find Aira and JD...sharing an intimate kiss!

Pinasadahan ko ng daliri ang aking buhok as I ordered for another drink. Tears streamed down my face like a waterfalls. I'm pretty sure I look like a mess now but I can't care less anymore!

Sawang-sawa na ako! Why can't just people love me back?!

Ako naman yung nauna ki JD ah! Pero bakit si Aira pa'rin ang pinili niya?! I thought they broke up for real...iyon pala ay isang 'trip-lang' na relasyon ang meron sila noon?! How could I've been stupid? How could I've lack that important information?! Kung alam ko lang dati pa na kunwari lang pala ang relasyon nila ay edi sana matagal ko ng nakuha si JD dahil ay may panumbat ako! Ghad!

Fuck, Trixia! You've been your batch's valedictorian in Elementary and a consistent Top 1 student in your entire fucking high school life pero ito lang maliit na problema mo sa lovelife ay hindi mo nagawa ng tama. Hell! Akala ko sisiw lang ito kumpara sa mga Math problems! It turns out this is much harder and difficult and complicated and worse than memorizing formulas and the Periodic table.

Am I exaggerating?

Akala ko rin nga, oo. I don't believe that love is powerful more than any elements in this world. But seeing myself, getting drunk and dazed because of seeing both of them kiss, I think I'm starting to believe in the myth.

Tama nga sila at lahat ay nagiging tanga pag dating sa pag-ibig.

Pakiramdam ko ay hindi ako nasaktan dahil sa halikan nilang dalawa. At hindi rin dahil nakita at marinig kong aminin ni JD na mahal niya si Aira ang sanhi ng sakit na nararamdaman ng puso ko.

I don't know. Mismong ako ay naguguluhan.

Nung sinabi ni JD na mahal niya si Aira ang mahal niya ay di ako naapektuhan at hindi kumirot ang puso ko. Nung halikan siya ni Aira ay parang wala lang ito sa'kin. Could this be that I don't love JD as much as before?

Pakiramdam ko ay hindi relasyon nila ang rason kung bakit ako nasasaktan.

Maybe it's not my infatuation for JD that hurts me. It's my pride and ego that's hurt! And I can't just take it.

After all the effort I'd made just to get in this school to make this mission happen and now it's all going to waste! Yes, it's my pride that's been hurt. I was so sure and full of myself that I'll win him back. I was sure I'm the winner of the deal pero bakit kung sino pa yung sumuko ay siya pa ang nanalo?!

After building up a high wall, feeling ko ay naguho lamang ito dahil hindi ko nakuha ang gusto ko.

Ayaw ko na. Maybe it's really time to stop this madness. Pagod na akong maghabol tapos sa huli ay maabutan ko man ang taong inaasam ko ay may iba na siya sa tabi.

Sabagay, nangako rin ako sa deal na kung mananalo si Aira ay titigilin ko na'to. Dapat ko itong sundin. After all, it's like a promise.

Maybe, it's really fate. JD and I were not destined to be together. Pero kung siya ay pag-aari na ni Aira, paano ako? Who's destined for me? Magiging isa rin ako sa mga tatandang dalaga?

Tumawa ako. Siguro oo. I'm a filthy hypocrite bitch and I can't deny that because of too many witnesses. Who will love me? Who will love me despite my attitude? My parents?