depressing thoughts

v

4/25/17

I didn't make an entry yesterday, I was too busy. I had so much homework and stress from an essay. How can my teacher expect me to write a good essay in 40 minutes when I don't even understand it. Literally had to bullshit it but I think k did okay.
I'm a bit nervous right now, there's percussion camp but I don't know if I should go. There's a certain someone who most likely will attend and I cannot function around them. I literally loose my ability to speak and I start to become shaky because they make me so nervous.
I don't know if I should go...

-entry time: 3:41pm

Update

I went. I was so nervous of meeting other people I started to tremble and bit until one of my friends came. I almost decided to just leave and walk home but my friend made me feel less nervous because she can do the talking for me. Thankfully that special person was not at the percussion camp. If he had gone I would've been an even worse nervous wreck. Everyone is so tall. One of the mallet players tried to introduce Me and my friend to the rest of the front ensemble. I couldn't even talk properly and I think the guy kinda noticed how nervous I was. I such s terrible human. I can't even speak around people I dont know.
gah.

-entry time: 9:16pm