3/17/18
For once in my life
I am so happy
I was so happy
Brandon makes me very happy, I love him to death
And he loves me
I am getting rid of people who have hurt me
Life was getting so good
and now I am simply just scared
that this happiness wont last
I feel like it's started to crumble already
my friend, my closest friend isshutting me out
lashing out on me
having fun with other people and yelling at me
but tells me nothing is wrong
I'm so scared now
That everything is gone
I don't want to lose them
I love her so much
it fucking hurts
it fucking hurtsthis happiness
gone
Maybe I'm not meant for happiness
maybe I should have
no
never mind
not that
i think happiness is something I was never supposed to feel
I'm unworthy of it
and whenever I do get this good feeling it always goes away
no matter how good life seems
it sucks
and I'm so scared this is beginning again
that this
this is my downfall
I'm not ready
I wasn't ready last year and I'm not ready this year
please
what have I done
what the fuck have I done to deserve sadness
why
I'm sorry
......
-entry time: 9:14pm
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depressing thoughts
Non-Fictionan assortment of entries where I talk about my own mind. -current status; not well