depressing thoughts

e

3/29/18

I'm so disgusting
I feel like giving up
I'm doing so good and I just know
I know
I'm never going to be good enough
not for myself
not for him
not for my friends
not for anyone
I'm so fucking disgusting
I'm so fat
I said it
The truth
I'm fat
I'm disgusting
I'm ugly
I'm stupid
That's the truth
That's the only truth for me about me
I just
it doesn't matter
I don't matter
I'm so stupid for letting myself get so sad
I'm horrible
I cant make myself happy
I feel horrible
maybe I'm not meant for
I cannot say it
I'm scared to say it I don't want to think about it
I shouldn't go back
I shouldn't
I don't want to
I'm just such a disappointment I don't even wanna talk to people about this or ill be told it's nothing
and they are right
My feelings
Don't matter
I
Don't matter
I'm not supposed to feel bad if my life is going well
I am discontent with myself
My inwards and outwards appearance
I'm fucking disgusting as a whole
I just want to throw up
To purge when I eat
yeah
I
would rather be severely under weight
Then how I am right now
disgustingly fat
How am I even loved
I cant do anything
There is nothing to love about me
I'm ugly and that's it
Nothing more
and so much less.
I'm such a nuisance
Even I annoy myself with talking
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm going to be stupid and I'm sorry
I hope I
No
I deserve it.
-entry time: 11:10pm