depressing thoughts

i

8/10/18

I feel so bad right now
I'm so needy
I'm so stupid
I'm so annoying

I don't want to text him too much or talk to him too much anymore because I'm scared
I'm scared of annoying him
or making him embarrassed
and it really hurts me
that I have to think like that
the whole annoying him and embarrassing him

It really hurts me
Sometimes I just don't even want to go up to him in front of his friends
I'm just so
bad
and annoying
and ugly
and everything horrible
I cant speak and I just freeze up
It gets me so scared
Sometimes I just avoid him so that he doesn't have to interact with me
or talk to me
when when he does I always ask for a kiss
or a hug
or just love in general
but I just feel horrible right after
Because I know he doesn't like in public
he doesn't want to get judged
That hurts me the most 

all I can do is just cry
and lay in sadness
I'm just so sensitive when it comes to people I love
A simple change in tone makes me cry
I wish
I wasn't so sensitive
and that I wouldn't cry
over small things
or that I wouldn't cry
on things that don't matter

I'm just a stupid fuck up

entry time
11:27pm