depressing thoughts

a

5/27/18

I'm so hurt
I'm not
Good enough
Not for myself
Not for him
Not for my friends
My family
My teachers
No one

Im so
needy
I just love affection
I love hugs
I love kisses
I love being told "I love you"
I love giving hugs
kisses
Saying I love you

but
I
Always
do
say
it
first
And it hurts me
So badly
I feel horrible
Maybe he doesn't like
My constant hugs
kisses
"I love you's"
Maybe he only does it back
Because I do it first
and I expect him to return the love
sometimes
I think about it again
April
his words
they
hold impact
they
remind me to
Tone it down a little
sometimes
I just want to
keep to myself
and stay quiet
for the sake of his peacefulness
I probably
Am a nuisance
A bother
A disturbance
Sometimes when I see him
I don't want to go up to him
Because maybe
He doesn't want my affection
He doesn't give me affection
unless I ask for it
or unless I give him affection first
That
Hurts me
it
Breaks
Me

It
Won't let me sleep

-entry time: 3:03am