Can You Keep A Secret?

Chapter Twenty-Six

-Brooklyn's POV-

After a night of driving there, I was more than ready to let loose at the show. We'd finished out own tour last month, so this was just a fun event that we were lucky enough to join. I'd missed being onstage, and being with Roadies, and when the car doors opened and we all piled out, it felt like all of the worries and tension and bad memories that had been lingering around us all week let too, being carried off on some wind to some unknown place, leaving us to feel good again, at long last. The fresh air, the people milling around, the hesitant smiles on my best friend's faces – All of it made me feel alive.

After soundcheck, Blair let us roam around, exploring the place. Rye stayed backstage and rested because he hadn't gotten any rest on the car ride here – Every position was too uncomfortable for his shoulder. I couldn't imagine the pain that he was going through, or how he seemed to be handling things so well – If it were me, I probably would've stayed in bed for at least a week.

But, I was glad that he insisted we come here and do this. Everything seemed just right to make it a perfect day – Even in rainy ol' England, the sun was up and high in the sky. No matter what happened, even if got hidden by the clouds, the sun would always return. We'd been tucked behind a storm the past few days, but we were finally under the sun again.

Mikey headed off with me, trying to stay away from Liv, and I could tell that a little bit of my enthusiasm was rubbing off on him, as well. I acted extra-silly to try and make him laugh.

We were about to head back when I saw a group of people that I knew – "Jess!" I called out, walking over to her, arms open for a hug.

"No," she giggled, turning away.

"Aw, come on, gimme a hug," I whined.

"Alright, alright," she turned around, allowing me to wrap my arms around her.

"I've missed youuu," I smiled, rocking back and forth. It was nice to be with her again, to be with someone who didn't know, and therefore wasn't affected by what had happened. "I love you."

"I love you too," she said.

"I love you moree," I argued you back.

"No, I love you most." She pulled back, eyebrow raised.

"I love you mostest."

"That's not even a word!" She laughed.

"Ha! I won." I said, victoriously.

"No, you didn't."

"I did!"

"You didn't."

"Jess Jess Jess Jessy Jess Jess Jessica Jess I did I did I did."

"I'll let you win, just this one time, so you can stop annoying me."

I wanted to speak with her more, fully relax into this happiness that was taking over me for the first time in days, but Blair called out for us to come back.

"I gotta go, okay? I'll see you after the show. I love you!" I yelled as I walked away.

By the time we were all backstage, I was more pumped than ever to do the show. I thought of everyone else out there, of all the people that came simply to see us. Things might be bad right now, yeah, but I knew that we would all come back together again. This was our dream, and we had all put so much time and effort into this – It made no sense to give up now.

It was when Blair was giving us a pep talk right before we went onstage that I noticed how nervous Liv looked.

"You okay?" I asked. She nodded, then seemed to think for a moment before changing her answer.

"I'm afraid to have another panic attack. There's so many people and I know they'll be screaming..."

"Hey," I grabbed her hands for a second. "You'll be okay. Just keep reminding yourself that you're in a safe situation. I'll look for you every so often whenever I can, okay? So you'll know that you aren't alone. And I know that Blair would help you get out of here if you get really overwhelmed."

"Thank you," she said, pulling me in for a quick hug before pushing back again and saying, "Now go smash it out there."

I smiled. I usually got a little nervous before shows, but not this time – I was itching to get onstage. When it was finally our time, and we walked out, and the crowd erupted, I felt a rush of adrenaline and bliss flow through me.

I got in the lost in the show, in singing. We did Miss Taken and After the Show first, and I made sure to find Jess in the crowd and wink at her when we did, and wave at Liv backstage.

Starting I Wasn't Worried made me realize just how brilliant of an idea the stools really were – although we'd had them to help Rye take a break, it made everyone in the crowd feel so much closer, like we and the Roadies were one. They held up the flashlights on their phones and waved them back and forth, and I had never felt so much like I belonged.

I was convinced that we would come out of this stronger – Like, collectively, we'd all realize that we were strong, and stronger together, and that this is what we were here for. I was so lost in the music, the feeling, and thinking that, that it startled me to hear a sudden silence – Not absolute, of course – The background music still played, the crowd still sang along, but something was missing – Rye wasn't singing his part.

He sat, silent, gripping his microphone, staring straight ahead. It took all of us by surprise, as it wasn't something that we had been prepared for, but Andy reacted the quickest, starting to sing his solo for him. We continued on, acting as if this was something that was planned, but my trance had been broken – My heart was pounding, I was trying to watch Rye without making it too obvious, my voice cracked as I sang...It felt like we were playing a game of Jenga, and if one more block was taken out, the entire structure would collapse.

I could feel it fall as Rye finally broke his silence, mumbling, "No, no," the echo of his words spreading throughout the area, his microphone still on. There was no use pretending anymore – We all slowly started to turn out microphones off, get off our stools, walk towards him, as his eyes widened and he moved backwards, shaking, nearly falling off of his stool before steadying himself enough to get off on his own.

He dropped the microphone, a loud and irritating screech emitting from it, before running offstage. The crowd began to erupt in confusion.

The good mood, the hope from earlier, seemed to be taken away with him. I was no longer sure that this was a puzzle that we would be able to put back together.