Can You Keep A Secret?

Chapter Twenty-Nine

-Jack's POV-

The flat was somber when we woke up the next day – Around 2:00, because we'd gotten back so late. Usually the vibe was much happier when we were going home, but not this time – This time, it felt uncertain whether or not we would even be coming back.

Rye slept, and we were given very specific instructions not to wake him up – Not that we would've anyways. Anyone who knew us would've been impressed with just how quiet we were managing to be. I knew that I'd been in the band for the shortest amount of time, but they were already my closest friends, my brothers – Not by blood, but by heart. It was difficult to imagine a life without any of them, or a life without this – Things had gone by in a whirlwind since Blair had basically stolen me from the Dublin airport, but the people and places and memories that had come after it were ones that I wouldn't trade anything for, not even the world.

We went to Maccies for lunch, but even then, with greasy comfort food by our side, things were still odd. We avoided the elephant in the room and didn't speak about Rye or the shooting at all. We just made small talk, as if we were strangers just meeting for the first time.

The good weather had finally broken, and it was pouring outside. We made sure that we could all get home safely – Brooklyn lived the closest, and his family insisted that he not take the train, and let them drive him back instead. Mikey was more than a little reluctant to let Liv travel home alone after what had happened last time, but she insisted that Rye's safety was more of a priority right now, and that the same thing wouldn't happen twice. It was decided that he would go home with Rye, since they both lived in Bristol. Andy stayed mostly quiet, lost in thought, but when asked about his plans, he just said that he would take the train. As for me, the soonest flight home wasn't until the next day, which meant some time alone in the flat.

I found myself noticing all the "never"s that we were breaking – We had never been so quiet, never only picked at fast food, not even when we were all ill – Even Brooklyn wasn't shoving down food down his throat. We'd never been do dejected over going home, never had to leave a show like that before, never gone so long without posting anything on social media – Wait.

"When was the last time any of you guys tweeted anything?" I asked. Everyone shrugged. Mikey said Friday morning; Saturday night for Brooklyn.

"So there's been nothing said for, like, two days. And yesterday wasn't even explained. Fuck. What should we say? We can't avoid it entirely. But Rye doesn't want anyone to know what happened, at you know." Andy pretty much spoke for everyone as he said it.

"I guess we'll just have to ask Blair," I sighed. We had never been so dependent on him to make so many small decisions for us before.

Mikey tried to suck soda through his straw, but there was nothing but ice left in his cup. It made that loud slurpy sound, but nobody laughed. I was tired of never's, of the repeated beginnings of bad things. I wanted an always, a promise of a return to normalcy. But, unfortunately, nothing was promised in this life, and instead, we were all left afraid and vulnerable, to fend for ourselves.