Can You Keep A Secret?

Author's Note

           

I have one very important thing to say to whoever has made it this far: Thank you. Can You Keep A Secret originally started out as a dream that I had, then an inside joke, and eventually an idea for a short imagine. I never imagined that I would end up taking is this far. CYKAS is, singlehandedly, the story that I have written the most for – with over 100,000 words and 200 pages on Microsoft Word, and more than three notebooks filled with writing – and the first one that I have ever finished.

            I've always wanted to be an author – my one place that I could always find solace in was writing. It made me happy no matter what, even if nobody else enjoyed it. That being said, the support for this story has been incredible. I never expected it to get so much support, and the fact that its gained views and votes so quickly is astonishing to me. I read every single comment that you guys leave for me, and they all make me smile. It means the world to me. Thank you.

            There are some people that I would like to thank specifically:

·         First off, Liv. (livxgracee on twitter) Can You Keep A Secret would've even be a thing if it weren't for you. Thank you for being not only a best friend, but also the #1 supporter of this book. Seeing what you'd choose to screenshot and reading your reactions to everything made it all worth it. I'm sorry that you never got any sympathy comments (I did try. You went through a lot,) and thank you for letting me take what should've been a happy fanfic and turn it into an emotional rollercoaster. To be fair, I just went wherever it took me. What are we going to do with our lives now?! I don't know, but thank you for these past four months.

·         Jess (hypebrooklyn) My wattpad buddy & best friend, another supporter of CYKAS from the very start. I could go on & on, but I won't – Just, beyond everything that you do, thank you for taking the time to read everything that I write, and for giving me a good slap when I deserve it. Also, Jess writes amazing stories as well! You should check hers out, if you haven't already.

·         Lauren (lauren_spencex) I think you've been here since, like, chapter 10 or something like that. As shy and bad at replying as I am, everything that you've tweeted about CYKAS has made me smile immensely. Thank you thank you thank you! And sorry for making you cry sadhflafk (But I've always found it cool how writing can invoke emotions in people, & the fact that I can do that too is crazy to me)

·         Trinity (Triny_Trin_) You've supported this story before you even read it, when it was just me refusing to play cards so I could scribble furiously in my notebook instead. Albeit it being majorly embarrassing when you started reading it aloud (thank God it was just the two of us,) it makes me really happy that you took the time to read and comment and vote and comment on and point out the Randy in everything. Thank you so much!! (And pls don't kill me when you see me again. I hope you're happy with the ending)

·         And, lastly, a major thank you to anyone who had read it and told me that it's good (what an ego boost), including Rysa, Laur, Jade, Emma, Kella, Paige, Nessie, Nic & everyone who's read (and especially those who comment and vote). It's been quite the journey. Thanks for going on it with me.

            And, without further ado, I'll wrap this up with a final note addressing some of the more serious topics that I've written about here – By any means, I did not mean to glorify or romanticize suicide, anxiety, or PTSD, and I do not with them upon the boys or anybody else. My general goal with CYKAS was to make a fanfiction that was as un-fanfic like as possible. I wanted to show that people are not perfect, and that these things are not pretty – But I also wanted to convey the message that there is strength in hard times, and that, somehow, throughout everything, one can still persevere.

            My friend who suffers from PTSD made me realize that it is not just for soldiers returning from battle. I don't see it written about very often, so I hope that I did the topic justice. For anyone struggling with it: You are so, so strong. As for suicide, it is usually not a spur of the moment thing. The idea came to me randomly, and I'll probably go back and edit that bit. I tried to show Andy's insecurities with not only Liv, but also himself, showing as to why he might've. I also tried to show how it affected not only him, but also the people he loves and who love him. Your life is more important than you know. If you're having any suicidal thoughts, please don't hesitate to reach out to someone about what you're feeling. I've struggled with mental illnesses myself, so trust me when I say that you are not alone. I am always up to talk, even if we never have before. Also: Depending on the circumstances and who you're working with, therapy can really help. I had certain plans for CYKAS that would've work if Andy were in the hospital, but that really should've and would've been the first place that he would've gone if it were real life. CYKAS is a work of fiction and should not be looked upon for a guideline on how to deal with certain situations.

            Thank you for reading. I love you guys. ♥

-Lily aka electarye (twitter)