Can You Keep A Secret?

Chapter Thirty-Two

-Rye's POV-

The thought of returning home to my family was too nerve-wracking for me to do on my own. I loved them, but the thought of telling them what had happened made me feel sick. I convinced Mikey to come with me for the transitioning stages – But as soon as we stood outside of my house, the dread proved to be too much.

This was where I'd grown up, and the people inside were ones who only knew who I used to be. What had happened had changed me in a way that I wasn't ready to bring here yet – If there was any place on Earth where I could revert back to my normal state, it was here.

"I can't do it," I whispered as Mikey reached up to ring the doorbell. He brought his arm back down, turning to look at me.

"Can't do what? We can't just turn around now. We're already here."

"I can't tell them. Not yet."

"Rye. You know as well as I do how horribly things can go if you don't tell anyone what's going on," he said, and I feared that he would rat me out, no matter what I had to say about it.

"I have you. Please just let me do it on own time," I said, prepared to beg on my knee, if that's what it would take, but before he could speak again, the door opened and my family tumbled out, enveloping the both of us into a tight hug.

"Michael! What a pleasant surprise to see you here as well!" My mum said.

He smiled at her, saying "It's always nice to see you again," before shooting me a look out of the corner of his eye. I pretended not to notice it, instead allowing Sammie to drag me inside.

For the a few hours, we faded into our old routine, as if I'd never even left, and it seemed as if Mikey was going to keep my secret. Towards the end of the day, I was tossing a baseball around outside with my brothers when Robbie threw it a bit too hard, and his aim was a bit too off, and it landed right on my shoulder.

I let out an involuntary yelp of pain, clutching it and bending over.

"Aw, come on, I didn't throw it that hard," he said, walking over to me, laughing a little, but stopping when he realized that I was actually in pain. I could tell that Mikey was about to blurt it out when I forced myself to straighten up, plastering a smile on my face to hide the pain, even as it was almost all that I could pay attention to.

"Nah, you're right," I said. "I've gotten quite good at acting with all the role-playing I do with the boys, right, Mikey?" I gave him a pointed look, and he nodded reluctantly.

"I was just playing with you," I said, leaning over to muss up his hair. He smiled and slapped my hand away, looking a little speculative of the excuse, but recovering from the whole thing momentarily because, really, he had no reason not to.

I tried not to hobble when heading back inside. I collapse onto my bed, letting out a muffled scream into my pillow before muttering, "Fuck, fuck, fuck!"

Mikey came in moments later, and I could sense his disapproval without even having to look at him.

"Come on, Rye. You can't keep this up for much longer."

"I know," I said. But I also wasn't planning on letting it out unless I absolutely had to.