Can You Keep A Secret?

Chapter Ten

-Andy's POV-

For some reason, it was comforting to hear everything explained away. Blair gave me the dignity of not having to tell the whole truth and instead stuck with my story of having gotten caught on something instead. My throat was sore and my voice was wacked because of the water I consumed and, because of how cold the water was, my body temperature dropped, which messed up my respitory system, which made sense to me. Part of the reason I passed out was because my heart had cooled down to a near stop, and the other part was because of stress. A lot of medical terms were thrown around, but Blair summed it up in a simpler version – Basically, my mind got too overwhelmed by everything and shut itself down.

The entire time – Being carried out the flat, the ride there, the waiting and explanations – I felt as if I was watching it all happen to a different person, someone other than me. Because, this couldn't be me, right? Blair kind of forced me back down to Earth once we got back into the car. He waited before starting it, choosing to speak to me first.

"Andy...You're an important part of all of our lives, not just the band. You mean so much to so many people, and any time you feel like something's getting to be a bit much, you speak to me first, okay? I'm not trying to force you to stay in a situation that you're not comfortable in. You don't need to feel like there's no way out." Blair didn't often get emotional, but I could feel it all around us right now. I was tired of emotions – I just wanted to sleep. I'd been asleep for half the day, but I was still exhausted.

"No, I love being in the band. It isn't that, I promise. And I know. I know." Why had I been so stupid? Why? I'd never be hearing the end of this now. I understood that he was just being kind, that what he was saying was nice, but I just wanted to go on as if this had never happened.

"Are you sure that you'll feel better if Liv leaves?" I nodded. I knew that I should at least try to speak with her before she left, explaining to at least one person, possibly the single person that it mattered the most to, what my reasoning behind it was, but my throat hurt even worse at the mere thought of speaking for so long – And my heart did, too.

I had no idea how Blair was going to break this to her and the boys without telling them what happened – "Oh, Andy got heatstroke and now he can't bear to see his best friend" – lacked a little something.

"I'll take care of that as soon as possible. For now, we need to focus on some other things," he stated, turning back into professional mode. "We're going to need to put you on vocal rest for a few days. I recommend you stay in the flat and rest as much as you possibly can during that time. Don't go out and see fans. Maybe post a thing or two on social media so that they're all none the wiser. When we get back, I'd like for you to try and eat something, as the doctor said that would help." I guess he could see the resignation on my face at the thought of it, because he added, "You wanna stop feeling so shitty? Then that's the first step to recovery. Whether or not we still do the show on Sunday's still up in the air, it depends on how you're doing by then."

"I'd hate to let the fans down," I said. It was five days away, though – Hopefully I'd be more on my game by then. Blair said nothing in response, but I could feel what he was thinking anyways – You know what would let the fans down? Your death. Finally, he spoke again as he started up the engine.

"You take care of yourself, Andy Fowler. I know you got a whole lot of people depending on you, but put your own needs first for once. You start feeling bad, start feeling like you can't do it again, you talk to me right away, you hear? I'm serious."

"I know," I said. "I will." I wouldn't. I wanted everyone to go back to being oblivious as to how I felt, please and thank you.

"We're all rooting for you." But what did any of that matter what I came out of this whole shitty situation no closer to achieving what I really needed than I was before it happened?