Can You Keep A Secret?

Chapter Thirty-Eight

           

-Mikey's POV-

            We had been together for four months, nearing five, and although we hadn't officially broken up, I felt as if I was standing with my heart in my hands as I waited outside of Liv's house, my hands sweaty as I pressed down on the doorbell. I had taken the over three hour journey in a grandiose act to confess my love for her once again.

            The hot summer sun beat down on me as I awkwardly waited for her to come to the door. I could feel a line of sweat starting to bead up on my forehead as I began to doubt my plan – What if she wasn't even home? Then I would sit and wait outside for her, even if I became a burnt crisp in the process. She always did like crisps, and that joke would probably make her laugh. Even worse, what if she was home and just didn't want to see me? What if she was peeking out of her window right at this very instant and deciding that she was still too angry at me?

            I felt bad that we hadn't spoken too much in the past week of break. I'd been busy taking care of Rye, and I helped to search for him when he disappeared and later helped his parents talk him into going to a psychologist. I'd tried to explain that to her via text messages, but I had always believed that it was nearly impossible to properly express everything that I felt when we weren't face-to-face.

            I then began to question whether or not I pressed the doorbell hard enough and if it had rung at all, and my finger was poised above it, hovering, when I heard a clamor going on inside.

            "I'LL BE THERE IN A MOMENT!" Liv called out, and simply hearing her voice made me feel better. The atmosphere itself seemed to change to suit the moment – The air seemed to quiver with anticipation as she pulled the door open, hair piled up in a towel.

            "Oh," she breathed out upon seeing me, self-consciously adjusting her shirt, her cheeks lighting up into a light shade of pink. The sight of her literally took my breath away for a moment – Even after all of this time, how beautiful she was shocked me.

            "Are you going to let me in?" I asked with a laugh as she continued to stand there, simply staring at me.

            "Oh, oh, yeah, of course," She said, a small giggle escaping her mouth as she pulled the door open wider, allowing me to step in. The cool air of her house was a refresh, but it was nothing compared to finally being able to see her again.

            "It's a surprise to see you," she smiled, and my heart felt as if it was going to fly right out of my chest.

            "I missed you," I said, my voice almost cracking with the emotion that was behind that simple statement. "More than you know."

            "I've missed you too," she said, her eyes tracing me as if she wasn't sure if I was real or not. I couldn't wait any longer – I stepped closer to her, silently asking for permission before pulling her close to me, one hand on her hips and the other on the back of her neck, our lips intertwining as I breathed her in as if I would never feel the relief of oxygen again.

            I tugged the towel off of her hair, pulling back only to admire her beauty – How she seemed to glow.

            "I'm sorry, I'm sorry for everything," I said as her body aligned with me. The time without her next to me had felt nearly unbearable. "I don't ever want to lose you," I said.

            "You won't," she spoke, her voice quiet as she kissed me again. "I will love you until the end of time."

            "I have never felt for anyone the way that I do for you, Liv. Nobody. You are my entire world, the light of my life, and every day without you seems gray. Let's not ever fight again," I said, and I could feel her smile against my lips.

            "You should become a poet," She said, a trace of laughter in her voice.

            "It's true," I said, wanting with every piece of me for her to know how I felt. I didn't want to keep anything from her. She was the best part of me. "I treasure nothing more than your happiness." I gripped her hand into mine.

            "I'm always happy when I'm with you, okay? I love you. And...Me going to college wouldn't mean the end of us, alright? Because I don't want to lose you, either. I just want you to know that...I've been dreaming of this since I was a child. And I don't want to have to go without either of those things – I don't want to have to choose between you or college," She explained as she led me to the couch. I sat, and she sat on top of me.

            "I know, and I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you," I said, even as my heart clenched at the thought of it. But, love wasn't always easy...I knew that. And at the end of the day, Liv's happiness and wellbeing should be put above everything, even my own wants and needs. And if losing her to distance was the only way to keep her as mine, then I would have to do what it took.

            "I've been thinking about something that will hopefully make you happy," She said, shifting so that we locked eyes. My heart skipped a beat.

            "And what would that be?" I asked, trying to swallow past the lump that was beginning to form in my throat. I couldn't think of one thing that it could possibly be.

            "How about you go with me to New York?" She asked, a hesitant smile adorning her face as she waited for my reaction.

            "Don't you usually go with Andy?" I asked as she squeezed my hand reassuringly.

            "Yes, but this year, especially with everything that's gone on, I'd rather have you go with me. I mean, if you want to, of course. I'm sure he'll understand," she said.

            "Yes. A million times yes," I said, my heart feeling as if it could explode with how much I loved her. Maybe things weren't perfect, but being with Liv had this magical way of making it seem as if the bad things didn't even matter.

            I was hers, and she was mine, and as she leaned in to kiss me again, that was all that I cared about.