Can You Keep A Secret?

Chapter Eighty-Six

           

-Andy's POV-

            Sleep had slipped right past my fingertips – No matter how hard I tried to get some rest, my mind kept turning, keeping me awake until I wanted to scream. The flat was slowly waking up now – Rye was making something in the kitchen and Mikey was showering, but Brooklyn, Jack and Liv were still in dreamland. Jacklyn had bunked together, and I tried to focus on them instead of Liv – Brooklyn had an arm wrapped around him and Jack was curled up in a comma-like shape. I truly hoped that yesterday's magic wouldn't wear off for him. Living in constant turmoil over somebody who didn't love you back was a curse that I wouldn't wish upon anyone.

            I tossed Shmug back and forth between my hands, trying to clear my thoughts and focus on the mindless activity, but it was of no use. I had no idea of anything that would quiet my thoughts down other than death, but that was no longer a route that I could take – I had to wait until I gave Liv the £9k, and I had to get what I felt about her in the open – If she turned me down, then so be it. It wasn't as if it was something that I didn't already know and I could push harder to get her out of the flat now that Rye was doing better so that I didn't have to live with that constant awkwardness.

            But what about the small chance that she did feel the same? That, somewhere inside of her, she knew that we were meant to be? It was that thought that was messing me up, and as I pondered it, my focus slipped off of Shmug, and he went flying across the room, landing right beside Liv. I climbed out of bed to retrieve him, wondering if Mikey knew how lucky he was to be able to lay beside her, to hold her in his arms, to know, without a doubt, that she shared his love for her...

            I leaned over to get Shmug, who had fallen between the crevice of where the bed connected to the wall. If I held my breath, I could hear her own breathing as I picked him up. Filled to the brim with feelings of loneliness and desire, I gave Liv a quick kiss on the cheek. She shifted in her sleep, and, all of a sudden, a risky plan came to mind, one that I was surprised I'd never thought of before, and I had the perfect excuse to use in case anyone caught me.

            I gave the room another quick glance, my heart beating so rapidly that I was afraid I might pass out. I knew that I probably shouldn't do it, that it was a stupid idea, and so much was balanced on this already thin line, but it was now or never...                                                                                 

            I leaned down and kissed her. For just a second, for the first time in weeks, my mind went silent. Her lips were soft, and she tasted like caramel, even though it was early morning and she hadn't yet brushed her teeth. I made it quick, the feeling of both temptation and guilt gripping me the moment that I pulled back, but it was already too late – Liv's eyes slowly blinked open as she yawned and stretched, confused.

            At the same time, I heard Mikey speak – "Andy, what the fuck did you just do?" And, just like that, everything came crashing down.