Simply Sonny: An SVU love story

Chapter 39: Therapy

"Hello Addison, come in." Margret Foye steps aside and lets me walk past her. I drop my bag on the floor and plop down onto the seat, "I see you brought a friend." She eyes the man in the suit standing at the entrance to the doorway like a statue.

She shuts the door and I sigh, "Mr. Morales was very firm that if I had to leave the home then an FBI agent would have to take me." I explain quickly, easily showing my annoyance with the low tone of my voice.

"How are you finding it staying at Jason's?" She asks.

I shrug with a lip purse, "it's alright. I thought it would be weird with Sonny and Jason there but it's mostly just weird because of Mr. Morales."

"How's that?" She pushes.

"Jason made a point to tell him to take responsibility for his part in all of this and I can't help but agree with him. I mean, I guess it's nice that he took us into his home and has us under protective detail and all, but it's awkward knowing he has a hand in all this." I elaborate. She sits and I know to continue, "and I think Sonny is frustrated because the FBI is on the case now and he's being put on desk duty until this is all figured out and I feel responsible for that as well."

"How are you responsible?" She questions.

I give her a know it all glare, "because if I didn't start to date him he wouldn't be on this whatever list, and he wouldn't be in danger."

"Sonny also pursued you, Addison. He's an officer, he knew the risks." She says to try and make me see the other side.

"I guess, but no one expected him to escape." I add on, "anyway, I wanted to talk to you about something, err I uhh... I guess actually Sonny wanted me to talk to you about something." I shift uncomfortably in my seat.

"Alright, go on." She insists looking curious.

I bite my lower lip wondering how to begin this conversation, "well, last night I wanted to take things further with Sonny then just the usual making out and everything but he didn't want to." She squints her eyes a little and I continue, "and he said he didn't want me to regret anything because he wants us to go the distance, whatever that means." I shake my head a bit.

"How did that make you feel?" She asks a typical question.

I respond with the already rehearsed answer from the car ride over, "I was offended like maybe he didn't want to sleep with me after what happened. Like he didn't want me. Like I was damaged."

"And then he said he wanted you guys to go the distance, what did that make you feel?" She questions.

"I didn't even really register that, I was still hurt he didn't want me," I explain.

"Well, register it now." She encourages, "Sonny would like to have a future with you. What do you think about that?"

I think about it for it a bit and butterflies stir in my stomach, "it sounds promising like maybe I shouldn't rush into things."

"So, you were rushing into it then?" She asks.

I think about that for a moment then and shake my head, "I don't think I was. I think we are ready to take things further." I smile, really feeling good about this.

"You said we, so you're sure he's ready for that?" She posts the question.

I huff out some air, not really thinking of that. I've been so worried about me being ready to move forward, I don't really know if he is. I met his family and we're sleeping in the same bed already and maybe he thinks that's moving forward enough and wants to wait to sleep together, "I guess I'll have to find that out, huh?"

Her lips form a small smirk and she nods, "I think that would be good." I nod in return and wait for her to ask another question. It doesn't take long before she does, "you know Addison, its been just over 3 months since the rape, have you gotten your test results back yet?"

She refers to the HIV test I took a few days ago. I bite my inner lip and shake my head, "they left a voicemail and wanted me to call them back."

"And you haven't?" She asks although she can already tell the answer.

"Both other times they left me a message saying everything was fine, I was negative and that they'd see me for the next test. Only this time they want me to call back" I respond with my reasoning.

"That doesn't mean it's positive. The chances of that after both previous tests being negative are extremely low." She explains what I already know.

"Right, but extremely low and impossible are two different things. What if they tell me I'm HIV positive? What then?" I ask out loud, truly worrying about that.

"Well, you may not even have to go there. Why don't you call them right now and we can find out." She offers to be there for me.

I shake my head, "I don't think I can do that right now. I'd rather do it alone, no offense." I return.

"None taken. I do recommend you get the results back before engaging sexually with anyone." She tells me. I slowly nod my head agreeing, knowing what she's saying is right, "we were supposed to talk about your job options but I haven't seen you since Jacob's escape. We had a brief conversation on the phone but should we go a bit deeper now that you're here?" She asks. We spend the rest of my session going over what happened and how I've handled the emotions of that new trauma from the shoot out. After leaving her office, I convince the FBI agent to drive me to the precinct so I can talk to Sonny.