AMIYA P. O. V
"AND WHEN THE FUCK DID YOU PLAN ON TELLING ME THIS!? " I scream at the tan skinned boy in front of me furiously swinging the informational paper around in my hand
"god dammit amiya I don't know not now for fucking sure how the hell did you get the paper anyways" he rolled his eyes sitting on the counter.
"Jose. YOU ARE BEING BASED IN IRAQ ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!?" I scream slightly pushing his head.
"I WENT THROUGH BASIC FOR THIS! YEARS IVE TRAINED FOR YEARS AMIYA YOU SUPPORT IT UNTIL IT COMES DOWN TO DO THE DIRTY WORK AND NOW YOU WANT TO BITCH OUT? well I can't " he finally got angry back.
"Jose you can not go"
" oh yeah let me just fucking call the government and tell them I can't go, NO that's not how going into the army works. I will be based in exactly a month and 19 days. Like it or not I'll be fighting for our country "
"okay so should I say goodbye now? Start planning your fucking funeral?" I clearly hit a nerve when his vain was sticking from his forehead.
"that's what your whole outburst is for? Me potentially dying? I can walk out side of our home and somebody can put a bullet in me no doubt only difference is I'm in a war zone fighting for our country or I'm on the corner fighting for dope you chose, either way hugs and kisses don't pay these god damn bills and you of all people need to put that into perspective" he is now slightly pushing my head.
"A MONTH BEFORE THE BABIES COME YOU DROP THIS ON ME JOSE!"
"the world does not revolve around the princess. Snap back to reality bougie ass internet star, we are still the Puerto Ricans from up the street ain't shit special Amiya I'm not putting my life on hold for you"
There it goes, he struck a nerve.
"NO SHIT HAS CHANGE IM IN REALITY WE ARE NOT THE PUERTO RICANS TO GET BLOW FROM AND WE DONT SELL PILLS AND DOPE ANYMORE GOD DAMMIT WE DONT SO STOP YOUR BULLSHIT IM HERE ON THE SAME GOD DAMN PAGE AFRAID TO LOSE MY BROTHER SO FUCK YOU JOSE IM OUT " I scream pushing his chest aggressively as I walk out of the house throwing the white paper on the floor slamming the door, getting into our black SUV I sped off. Where was I going? Who fucking knows. When will I be back? Hopefully I don't come back.
It's not the fact that he's going to fight for our country it's he waited so long and didn't even tell me I didn't have time to prepare for it, there is such a high chance that he will never come back.. He won't come home he'll die and I know he'll be happy knowing he died for our country but my kids won't know uncle yami and he can't teach them curse words so I can get mad at him he just can't and it's a hard process for me to even begin to think about because he's my best friend. My Brothers are my soul mates I wouldn't trade them for a million dollars and we lost Pablo and I had no clue what to do we list one of our own and it's soon to be two.
Before I knew it I was pulling up to the old house.. Memories spilling out like no other, the pain that went down was unbearable and as bad as I never want to step foot into this place.. I need to talk to my dad he's the one who listens.
Locking the doors on the large car I made my way through the from entrance my heart aches knowing the horrific events that took place in this very house.
Walking over every step of broken glass I seen a perfectly untouched, unharmed picture of me and the boys when me and hector were roughly around seven. I was squished IN the middle as they all four hugged me tightly. Before I knew it I felt the hot tears streaming.
" dad I'm lost yo I don't know where to go and who to go to for Fuck sake give me a sign something g" I sit on the floor the back against the wall.
"I'm 18 and pregnant with twins, Liliana and Emilio.. Sams dead " my breath got caught in my throat saying those words.
"Sam's dead dad.. My best friend isn't breathing and I can't bring her back to life so what? How do I help the pain go away because it never every seems to even ease at the most all I want to do is scream and break things right now but with this huge ass stomach I can barely walk, when Sam died I promised myself I was going to protect these damn boys if that's the last thing I do and now in two months yami will be the entire world basically away from us fighting in a god damn war and I can't stop it" I was choking on tears trying to express my feelings..
"and hector, dad he won't leave his room. He's so depressed I'm just scared he will hurt himself or even take his own life on some Romeo and Juliet type shit. You know what that would do to me? Your twin is your other half at all times you have a best friend when you get scared in your first day of school they hold your hand. They help you brush your hair out when it's to ling for your hand to get the back of your head. When somebody breaks your heart they lay in bed with you and allow you to cry on them and tell them how bad you hate a boy that you'll be with tomorrow night because they are tour twin and it's their job to protect at feeling you may have and he does a damn good job of that but now that the tables have turned I don't know what the hell I'll even begin to do. Soon the babies will be here, I'm scared shitless. I don't know how to be a parent Fuck, my own parents were shitty parents.. I'm just afraid of every aspect of life right now and I don't know who to turn to.. At all "
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I'm depressed
