New Here |Juwany roman|

15.

I slowly allowed my feet to walk me through this house.. I remember all the pain and heart break we witnessed in this very house. The heart break of my father's death.. my own father for fuck sake. I haven't even walked all the way through the house and I can feel my heart beat through my body, my hands were so sweaty from being nervous. None of our stuff has been moved.. it's almost like we never left. Strange hu? I slowly made my way into the living room and I seen the awful sight of something I never thought in my life id ever remember again.
Flashback
I was walking to the kitchen to get something to drink when I noticed a man sitting on the couch. Not a man that ive seen before a new man. He starred at me.. willingly.. looking as if he was gonna kill me. I started shaking and tried to hurry and run to the kitchen fastly. If I got there then I could get to aces room. I heard loud footsteps following behind me. "What ya running for dear?" His voice alone was scary. "M- nothing just t-t-thirsty" I trembled with fear. "I'm thirsty to. For you" my eyes widened at his words. Please god don't let thus man hurt me. "Uh I uh I got to do my home work" I try to exit the kitchen only to be blocked and pushed back into a corner "fuck your homework" tears brimmed my eyes as I knew exactly what this man wanted. "Please don't" I wimper. I felt a large habd wrap around my neck cutting off my air. I struggled to pull his hand off gasping for air. Finally he let go and reached his hand to places i never wanted any man to touch. "Please.. I'm only fourteen please" I beg him to stop. "I dont give a fuck" he growled at me. I felt his hand enter my pants and i went nuts I started punching and kicking only to be choked again. I felt tears slip from my eyes one after another as thsi grown man took away my innocents after a couple of minutes he let go allowing me to breath "ACE HELP". I scream out through ny tears repeatedly screaming for help "YAMI PLEEEEEAAASSSEEE" I scream in tears I heard footsteps run into the kitchen and seven shots be fired. I opened my eyes and seen my brothers looking at me with sorrow in there eyes. "Miya I" Hector tried to speak but I ran to him crying. He rubbed my back shhhing me quietly.. "it hurt so bad" I cried holding him tightly.. "I know.." he wispered.
Flashback over
I felt an overflow if tears in my face but I just couldn't shake it. My worst nightmares took place in this hell hole. ' I hate you' I wisper harshly knowing that mans spirit still roamed this house. I walked into aces room and smiled remembering the days he used to bring me into his room along with yami and Hector just to make sure we were all safe.. our sisters were never around so it was just us to fend four ourselves. It was honestly the scariest thing ever but we managed to pull through. I slowly made my way to my room and I don't know why but I seen an image of my mom layed out on the floor so high that she couldn't pronounce words whike I was tryna give her eater and make her eat bread.. I remember I didn't eat that day.. there was no food for us.. I took a deep breath as I entered the living room. Anger took over my body as i just seen my father's dead body laying there that image will nevee leave my mind. I couldn't take it. I dropped to my knees crying. I screamed out in pain not knowing what else to do. "PLEAASEEE DADDY PLEEAASSEE". I scream through my sobs. I stood up and grabbed a glass lamp throwing it on the floor just remembering all the events that took place in this home . " I hate you" I screamed ripping things from the walls just taking my anger out on the house.. " ITS YOUR FAULT IM INSANE". I scream punching the wall leaving a hole. "YOU LET HIM RAPE ME". I screamed throwing a picture to the ground. " I WAS JUST A CHILD ".
+
"WHAT KIND OF MOTHER LEAVES EIGHT YEAR OLDS ALONE FOR WEEKS AT A TIME!?"
+
"HE STABBED ME WHEN I WAS FIFTEEN!"
+"I HATE YOU! ". I scream again punching a picture of my sister's "I HATE THIS HOUSE". I punch the wall.
"I HATE THE MEMORIES" I throw pictures to the floor. I dropped to my knees crying feeling the stinging sensation of all the bruises and cuts that I kmow will soon be very visible on my hand. "Why didn't you love me?" I sob out. "Why wasn't I good enough?" I sob again. "All I wanted was a fucking mother! That it! I wanted to have a mother like the rest of the kids but I fucking didn't!" I scream. I didnt know what or who I was screaming at but I just screamed. I have this heavy weight that ive never been able to lift and I need to lift it I need to be able to breathe again I need it to go away! It feels as if Im drowning in the ocean and there's a ton of bricks on my chest weighing me down and Everytime I remove one another one falls on me. Its like the past still haunts me! "When I have kids I'll fucking live them!" I scream louder this time. " THEY WILL FUCKING KNOW ME I WILL NEVER LET A SOUL HURT MY BABIES YOU STUPID BITCH" I couldn't contain my anger. I dropped my head on the floor punching the floor as hard as I could so bad I couldn't breath. I felt yami lift me up hugging me tight. "It's all over now" he wispered rubbing my hair I just sobbed into his shoulder gripping onto him like my life depended on it. We sat there crying for about thirty minutes and then he suggested we just go home and take a nap. The drive home was silent. All you could hear was my faint sniffles. I watched out the window just admiring the city how it was lit up in the early morning sky. I watched as birds flew by so happy and free. I watched as people drove by us without a care in the world.. feels like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders.. litteraly. The car stopped and I noticed we were at the house. I quickly ran up to my room locking my door kicking my shoes off and throwing my short over my head laying beside geo.  He still hadn't woke up. I crawled next to him sniffling. "Whats wrong princess?" He asked leaning up a little. I pulled him back down " just hold me for now" I wisper. He didn't ask any questions he just held me as tight as he could while I drifted off to sleep.
Three hours later
"MONIC WHY THE FUCK IS YOUR HANDS BRUISED LIKE THAT!?" i heard the worry in geos voice as he woke me out of my sleep.. "forget it" I groan rolling over. " No who did you fight?" He lowered his eyes to look at me. "Um a wall, the floor, a lamp, TV, a few pictures and the wall a couple more times" I shrug. He looked around the room searching for broken things. "Why didnt i wake up then?" Did he not believe me?
" My old house" I took a deep breath standing up. I slipped on a white t shirt and a pair of stretchy black shorts. I looked at my knees and seen they were a little bruised from when I dropped to the floor.. oh well they will be okay.

I walked out of my room and slowly ran down the stairs to meet all of my brothers. " Fuck hapoened to you?" Hector was already getting angry. " Me and yami snuck off real early this morning and went to our old house.. let's just say I didn't keep my composure" I giggle. "You can't be doing that mo you gon fuck your hands up!" Ace yelled at me. I ignored his words and fixed a bowl of cereal.. "I had a flashback of Danny" I cringe of even saying that mans name. "You dont know Danny" I heard my moms voice from the door way. "He raped me!" My voice got loud. "Hes also dead amiya!" She yelled back. "Good I hope he fucking rots in hell for that bullshit! I WAS FOURTEEN ROSE! HE TOOK MY INNOCENTS AND YOU WERE TO DOPED UP TO FUCKING CARE THANKS FOR BEING A OSO GREAT MOTHER HU?" i scream in anger ready to hit more things. "Don't you ever yell at me again" her voice sounded stern but it didn't make me fear her at all. " FUCK YOU". I scream. " I should have swallowed you! Your nothing but a mistake you worthless brat" her words sunk into my skin and it took every bone in my body not to lunch the fuck out of her. " NIGGA YOUR WORTHLESS DOBT EVER IN YO LIFE EVER SAY THAT GOOFY SHIT TO MY SISTER AGAIN I PAY THE RENT YOU CAN LIVE ON THE CURB FOR ALL I CARE" I looked at yami and smiled.. my protector. I felt geo wrap his arms around me. I smiled at him.. trying not to cry. " I should have aborted her!" She yelled. I didn't say anything back.. I simply walked out the door not finding the courage.. she was right..
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Im at cheerleading practice right now and I'm writing a freaking book lml😭😭 
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Word count: 1676