Twist // Negan x Reader

Chapter 30 // 9 PM

It was 8 PM, an hour until I had to go and find out what Negan wanted to talk about. An hour. I had nothing to do, most people were already starting to get into bed. Not me, not even for a while. I was sat there on the edge of my bed, wondering; wondering what he wanted to say, why he acted like that eariler, my own feelings...

It feels like I've been sitting here for centuries, waiting for the clock to turn to 9:00. While I was, the biggest thing I came across was my feelings. It felt like everyone thought I liked Negan, but do I, was the question. Everytime I came across it, I always told myself 'No. How could anyone like a man who has 7,000 wives, who scares the soul out of anyone he comes across, someone that gets joy out of murdering other survivors? How? He has no charm, No emotions (which I've been trying to find for a long time) and he isn't forgiving. His punishments are harsh, he doesn't give people a second chance and he acts like a pure ass!' but at the same time, the answer was me. It hit me hard, and it wasn't something I was ready to admit. But I just did, the question wasn't 'how?' It was, 'who?' I thought back to all the times when even something small happened between us, and each time it made my cheeks burn and my heart stop.

This wasn't the bad part of it though, if I know anything about myself when I realised I liked someone it was that I'm suddenly 10x worse around them. I can barely look at them face to face, I get even more shy around them or if they're mentioned. I make it obvious.

I looked at my watch, 8:45 PM. An hour goes by fast when you don't know if you're dreading or excited for what's next. I took hold of my right arm and dragged my hand up and down it, hoping it would help keep me at ease. I watched the watch as the numbers slowly grew closer to 8:57 PM; which was when I had to leave. 'What am I supposed to say when he opens the door? Just hi?' I felt myself get more anxious as time went on.

"8:57 PM" I whispered to myself, as I slowly stood up from my bed. I bit my inner cheek as I stood infront of my door, turning the door handle. I took a deep breath and left. I made sure to be super careful while I walked up those stairs, I was already had a fear of stairs; I didn't know why, but I knew I have ever since I can remember. As took the last step, I turned to look down the hallway that lead to his room at the end. My heart started pouncing around in my rib cage as I got closer.

Knock knock. I stared at the dark coloured door, waiting; hoping that maybe he didn't open the door, just so I wouldn't freak out. But also hoping he did, just so I could see his face. 'Look at me now,' I smiled to myself, feeling slightly left here, 'Within hours I've made a mess of myself' I laughed lightly, looking down as I held my hands.

My head jerked up to where my eyes were looking at the door handle, just as I heard it move. I watched it get pulled down, and open, it had been a long few seconds since I knocked, I started to doubt that he was even in there. My eyesight was fixed, as the door opened my eyes landed at his hand. I gulped and suddenly looked up, with a quick smile on my face. His eyes widened, and he mouthed something to himself. I furrowed my brows slightly and he cleared his throat.

"Y/N... come in" He smirked, strangely. Suddenly, I found myself hoping someone, anyone, would come and pull me out of this situation. I walked passed him, into his room and looked around. As far as I could remember, this was really the first time I was in here. He had a double bed, with silky new looking sheets (somehow), in his good sized room. He had two desks and 4 chairs, in total. He had a door leading somewhere else and- 'A book shelf?!'I was pleasantly surprised, I wondered if he had read all the books yet, he also had a pretty big wardrobe, compared to mine, at least.

After I finished looking around his room, I quickly looked back to him. My eyes widened, "You like books?" He asked. I panicked, cheeks warming up, "Yeah... Um- have you read them all?" I asked, as I watched him walked passed me to the shelf. "All, twice," he chuckled. I nodded, "Oooh, Negan's a book worm?" "What?" He turned his head to look at me, with his eyebrow raised. My eyes moved from one of his to the other, "wh-what?" Then I realised I said it out loud, I clenched my jaw, taking a deep breath through my nose. "It's okay- um- you can take one with you... if you promise to bring it back" He side smiled, instead of smirking.  I smiled back at him, asking if he meant it, he nodded, "thanks"

There was a short moment of silence, that seemed to have lasted for hours. Negan cleared his throat, "Y/N?" I was looking down, so I moved to look at him and nodded. He told me to sit on his bed, as he grabbed a chair and sat on it backwards; facing me. I looked down at my knees as he looked at me.

"Can I ask you a question?" I felt my heart speed up, "What is it?" At this point I didn't want to be here anymore. I wanted to be trying to hook up Dwight and Jase, or even working, anything else but not here. I didn't think my heart could handle it. "Would you reconsider my wife offer, if I did... get rid of my other wives? Since it was such a big deal to you," I froze in place, my eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "What?" I spoke lightly, raising my head to him. He asked again, "Would you reconsider it?" I stared into his deep pools for eyes.

I was empty. Gradually, my body started freaking out. My breath sped up. My heart beat quickened. I was tense, my jaw clenched, my hands were fists. I took one final last breath before-

Black.