Undeniable/ Shawn Mendes

Part 83

Jeanine:

I called Nick to pick me up from the restaurant  after I left.

"Jeanine. Please." Shawn said as he came running out of the restaurant. "Thank you for dinner Shawn. But please, lets not make this harder than it already is. Can we please just drop it?" I said, feeling the tears wetting my cheeks.

"I don't get it! I really don't! Do you not love me anymore? Did you ever?" He broke down, yelling at me as we stood outside.

"Of course I did. I still do! Do you know how I feel? Did you ever think about that? That it hurts me more to do those things to you than it hurts you to experience it. God! I love you so much and just because of Nate it ruined everything!" I yelled back, wiping my cheeks clean of the tears as I hiccuped from my sobs.

"Can we just work it out? I don't want you to leave here with an even more disturbed heart than what you came with." He said. His words calming me but things were going on like a storm inside of me.

Just then I saw Nick's car coming around the corner.

"I have to go. I'm sorry." I said more like a whisper before walking to his car and gettig in. "Go." I said but he didn't drive off. "Nick? Please can we just go!" I yelled at him again but he shook his head as more tears streamed down my face.

"I'm not going till you go and do what I know you're thinking of." He said. Curse our relationship and knowing each other way to well. I wiped my cheeks, sniffed and got out of the car again.

"Shawn wait." I said and he turned around. I walked up to him and crashed my lips to his. Our lips moving in sync. I felt his familiar hands wrapping around my waist as I cupped his cheeks, feeling the wet stains of tears still present on them.

"Please let me go." I whispered to him after separating our lips and before running back to the car, with Nick driving off this time. My heart breaking at the scene as I looked back at Shawn, still just standing on the sidewalk, watching us drive away.

I wasn't ready to let go, and I'm still not.

I don't know why I keep on saying that this is the best for us both, when it keeps tearing us apart.

"For your part I hope he comes running back." Nick said, getting out of the car and walking back into the house.

Everyone now wants us together, but at the time, when we were, they all wanted us apart.

What is this life!

I sighed, getting out of the car and walking inside. "So how was the date?" Both Ryan and Brian asked, sliming at me over they're shoulders.

I just glanced at them, not saying a word, and running upstairs to my room. I could still feel Shawn's lips lingering on mine. Like the first time we kissed. I got to my room, running my hands through my hair as I started crying again.

Everything is taking its toll on me. I want to be with him. But I can't push myself to the point of just letting go, and to fall back into his arms. I keep holding myself back and making things worse.

Again, the thoughts, the pain, the longing feeling of wanting to hold him, kiss him, be with him. It all comes streaming back. I need to break free.

I need to do what my heart desires. But all it wants is Shawn.

Maybe that's all I need.

But how?