Undeniable/ Shawn Mendes

Part 160

Shawn:

Well we just had the biggest face to face argument of our life.

I told her that coming here was a mistake and at the end she owned up to it. But what broke my heart wasn't the fact that she argued back with me, it was that she left her engagement ring at the door.

"Jeanine!" I yelled as I ran out my room with the ring. "She left." Geoff said, packing away the dishes. "Where did she go?" I asked and he looked at me. "Toronto." He said and I looked at the door. "She's gone." I whispered softly and looked down at the ring. "Fuck life." I said, putting the ring down on the counter and walking back to my room.

I just sat down when the door swung open again. "Why is her ring on the counter? I thought you asked her!" Geoff called out and I wiped my cheeks clean from the falling tears. "I thought so too." I said and put my headphones on as I started playing music.

I'm not even trying to call or text her because she won't pick up or answer back.

I know it.

-

The night. I never left my room. The picture I keep of us was standing next to my bed and all I did was stare at it.

Wishing we could just turn back the time and got to the places we were happy.

The time we shared our first kiss under the tree at the park. The events we went to together. The sleepless nights, lying awake and just talking to each other.

The arguments, that turned into commitments. The runaway to the cabin where the most magical things happened.

And basically every given moment that was amazing from there on, lead up to my wanting to marry her. Wanting to ask her to be mine. And to all of that, she said yes.

She agreed to stay with me, through all my shit and busy life.

Why couldn't I commit to the same?

Basically I broke this off, I pushed her away when all she wanted to do was be happy again, be close to me again, and make me feel better as well.

I'm broken.

And I did it to myself.

💕Jeanine:

I got home, eventually.

Everything felt so empty and dull. I didn't talk to anyone or told them I'm here. And nobody needs to know.

I immediately just went to bed and stared at the picture of me and Shawn. Why did this happen?

What made it lead up to this?

If that stupid crash just never happened, none of this would've happened.

All would've been good and nobody would've gotten hurt. I picked up my phone and went through some social media. Seeing Shawn posted a picture of us. 'I've done you wrong' the caption read and I sighed, putting my phone back on charge and fell asleep.

💕1 month later💕

I haven't seen Shawn since our fall out in LA and to be honest.

I wish he called, I wish he told me this was all just a big fight over nothing. I wish he just texted to check up if I'm okay. But the silence is killing me and it made me believe that he's over it and doesn't love me anymore.

I was just another fan, like he said.

Another one in the crowd that got a lucky shot.

'Can we be friends' I saw his tweet after getting the notification and my heart dropped. "What?" I asked myself, hearing my voice crack at the end as the tears pooled up in my eyes.

I threw my phone on the couch and walked to my balcony with my guitar.

Starting to play P!NK's song and singing along. My heart and soul.

"What about us? What about all the times you said you had the answer? What about us? What about all the broken happy ever after's? What about us? What about all the plans that ended in disasters? What about love? What about trust? What about us?" I finished the song with tears rolling down my cheeks as my heart broke even more.

What did we do?