Undeniable/ Shawn Mendes

Part 131

Shawn:

What the fuck did I just do?

I called her only a fan, and placed her second to all my life's belongings.

"What the hell Shawn!" Brian yelled at me and started punching my shoulders. "I know! I know! I fucked up! She pushed me out of her place and, shit, Brian you should've heard the things she said in her broken state. And it's all so true. She's always the one lifting my mood and making me happy, supporting me no matter what and always being there for me. And I was always the one thinking twice about doing something or going somewhere with here. I've been nothing but a bad boyfriend to her and I've called her a fan. Just a stupid fan! What the hell is wrong with me?" I yelled and punched the wall, hurting my hand real bad.

"Nice. Way to go you oaf. Not only did you break her but you hurt your hand. Try strumming a guitar with that thing." He said, only making me feel more shit by the second.

"I'm going to LA tomorrow. No matter what it takes. Will you please just help me with the bags." I asked and he nodded as I went to the bathroom to clean my scar.

-

"You're so stupid Shawn!" Nick said through the phone after I called him up. "I know! Can you please just stop saying that I know what I did. And that's painful enough!" I said and he sighed.

"You hurt my sister. I'm not okay with that." He said and I rested my head in my hands.

"But I like you and you guys together is the perfect thing. Tomorrow at the airport just be nice and say sorry. I know she'll maybe think twice about forgiving you but she won't think three times. That's not her." He said and I let or a breath I didn't knew I was holding.

"I hope so. I can't lose her, no matter how many times I push her away." I said and we talked for a little while before saying our goodbyes and hanging up.

I got some clothes out for tomorrow at the airport and out my bags down at the door for when I leave. "You sure about this?" Brian asked as I walked to my room. "Not a doubt will ever cross my mind when it comes to her." I said and got in bed, not sleeping but lying awake and crying.

Thinking about the things I said and did.

Why did I call her that?

I made so many mistakes when it comes to her, some mainly because I didn't want to lose her again.

And just look where that brought me to.

💕Jeanine:

I can't believe him.

After all the things we did and the things I did for him. He never acted like this before.

I didn't even try to call Nick and ask for help, because I know he'll only call me out and tell me 'I told you so' for trying to date a celebrity. And that's not what I need right now.

I need Shawn.

Tomorrow me and Nick are leaving to go to my dads and the rest of the family for a Christmas celebration.

Shawn was supposed to come but he forgot so it's just us. I can't wait to see my dad and grandma again. I put my bags down by the door so their ready for when I leave.

I cried myself to sleep, but only being awaken by my aching heart at the loss of Shawn again. This is what I was so afraid of.

Losing him again, but this time it's not on me.