ROSE

20. Again

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"We're here." He said and parked in front of the door.

"Can I have my phone now?"

When I woke up and woke him up to drive me to school, I asked him to give me my phone back but he said that he will give it to me when we get to school and I didn't even have the place to argue because I knew that he wouldn't give it to me.

He finally took it out of his pocket and handed it to me and I automatically restarted it. I found out right away tons of messages and calls from Rita so I called her.

"Bella! Oh my god, you biatch!" She yelled. "Where were you and why were your phone out of service? And why didn't you come to work?" She asked a lot more questions than I could remember to answer.

"I'm so sorry Rita. It was all Anthony's fault." I looked at him with a harsh stare and he just giggled at me. "He just decided that we need to spend time together so he took my phone, shut it then we went to his house and watched a movie."

"Oh...my god. You went to his house!" She whispered-yelled. "That was fast, Rosabella Watson, never thought of you that dirty!" She teased and I shook my head.

"Nothing. Happened. We watched a movie." I tried to be quiet so he doesn't hear but that was a little hard since we were in the same car. "I will explain everything when I see you at work today."

"You better!"

I looked at him and hugged him goodbye because I needed to go to class. For the first time since I met Anthony, I decided to focus in class. I needed these good grades and midterms were coming closer. I didn't care though. I was ahead in all my classes even if I barely concentrate in class. My notes and studies after work are enough to teach me everything the teacher explains in class.

I walked out of class and right away called Anthony to tell him that I was finished but he didn't answer. I ignored it and waited for him to call me back but thirty minutes later, nothing happened.

I remembered a few days ago when he did the same thing so I huffed and took my books then walked home. The weather was getting colder and the streets were getting darker even though it wasn't late. This was one of the many reasons why I hate winter. The sun goes down very early and I hate the darkness.

When I got home I tried calling Anthony again but my call was automatically sent to voicemail, just like last time. I realized that he never told me where he disappeared and I never asked him again when he changed the subject in the car after the party.

As much as I trust Anthony and know that he wouldn't be doing something wrong, as much as this disappearance that happened not only once but twice has something that I wouldn't like, behind it.

I finally decided to stop thinking and start some studies to finish some things to keep being ahead of my classes. I finished a few assignments and started a few essays I had to do for later in my English class. I was so proud of myself for finishing a lot of things today which made me so sure that even if I don't study for a couple of days, I won't be behind.

But when I was done, my brain started to play Sherlock Holmes and put possibilities of where Anthony goes or what could he be doing. I tried to stop but as soon as my thoughts go to think about something else, I find another possibility of what he could be hiding.

My phone ringing broke my line of thoughts and I was thankful. I could already feel my headache coming from thinking so much about what could make him disappear like that and shut his phone, even without telling me that he will.

I hoped it was him at first but it was Rita. "Hello." I said.

"Hm, let me guess. Sad voice and low tone...you guys got into a fight." She gave me the most basic conclusion ever.

"Nope." I shut my eyes, rubbing my forehead. "He disappeared again."

"Ugh, does that mean I have to come get you?" She said through the phone. "Fine, I'm on my way, you better get ready before I change my mind. And if you don't make it on time, I will make sure to tell my mom you didn't show up for your shift yesterday."

I got up and got dressed. Why does he always disappear after a good time we spend together? He just messes up the good time we have and replaces it with my thoughts that are making me feel like he's someone untrustworthy. It's like...he's hiding something from me and I don't like it. I don't like this side of him that my head keeps drawing it to me; the one who keeps secrets and has something that he needs to hide from me.

I left the house even before Rita's text, hating how I was left alone with these thoughts. So I decided that I will wait outside the building. Until I realized that it was colder than I thought it could be. I thought about walking inside again but I'd rather be in the cold than think about Anthony right now.

A car honk was sounded in the silent street, catching my attention. It was Rita's car so I walked towards it and got in.

"What are you doing out, standing in a minus degree?" She asked. "As far as I know, I didn't send you any texts."

"I keep thinking so I need some fresh air." I simply explained myself. And I was grateful when she just drove away and didn't comment on what I said.

What I don't understand is why do I care so much? I know that he will come back just like he did the last time, so why do I care about what he is doing or why am I sad that he's probably hiding something from me? The effect Anthony has on me was nowhere near pleasuring me. I hated it.

I got to work and decided to play off cool so no one asks why am I acting odd. Rita was the only one knowing that this is all just an act because she asked me probably ten times through my shift if I was feeling okay.

But I didn't lie when I told her that I was feeling fine. I was fine. Maybe a little upset but fine. I don't need to know where he is and I don't need to know where he goes every time he vanishes out of existence but I knew that as I pushed him off of my thoughts, I will push him out of my heart. If he can't trust me with his secret, I can't trust him with myself.

"Are you okay?" Rita smiled at me and rubbed my back when she saw me standing alone. I nodded with a smile.

"I'm perfectly fine." I said and meant it.

Anthony is taking me as a backup. When he wants me he knows where to find me whenever but when I want him, I have no way of getting to him. So I decided to turn the table on him. When he needs me, I won't be here to be found. Not because I'm childish and I'm trying to copy him to get him mad as I am right now, but because I don't want to get even more attached to someone that can't trust me, someone I can't find, someone that stays in my life for an impermanent time.

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