ROSE

69. Jail

Her eyes were holding words that could never be said but I knew how to put my thoughts into words and stop her where she needed to be. She was angry, I could see it but she said nothing. Her anger was too much to make her know exactly what she needed to say to defend herself so she rushed away from us.

I sighed and stepped closer to the bars and finally met his eyes. I ignored the bruises he had on his lip and under his eye and chose to focus on the smile he had glued to his lips. He looked proud of me, grinning, as if I did something that is really unexplainable. However, I knew that I did what needed to be done. I needed to make sure that she doesn't come back. The only problem was that me doing that made everyone watching think that I accept Anthony back. But that wasn't true. Despite, I didn't know what I was doing here and why I fought with her if I chose to give him up. It is as if I like the way I get hurt when he is behind it.

"You were really wise with what you said," Anthony said softly as I stood there and looked at him in the red uniform. It was so ugly on him. Everything in this place was so depressing and I hated stepping into it. Just staring at him behind the bars, in this cold place, made my eyes water. He must be really unhappy here.

"Why?" My voice cracked but I was abrupt to cover it up.

"I'm sorry." He whispered as he pushed his arm in between the bars and held my hand. "Forgive me, Rose. Forgive me for everything I've done to you."

"How many time will we have to go through this?" I said, a lot of important thoughts were buried in my dark skull and a lot of important words were left unsaid. I was so exhausted from fighting for something that keeps ending. The more I put effort into us, the more everything goes wrong.

"Don't you ask yourself why every time we try to move on, something brings us back together?" He placed his hands on my fingers that were wrapped around the cold bars.

I scoffed and bowed my head, shaking it then locking our irises back together, "why don't you say that every time we try to back together something happens that makes us want to move on?"

"Because it is not true." His eyes were begging and with no words heard, I felt his pain. I knew what he felt because I was living it with him. "Because our love is different that everyone around us is trying to break. They don't know what we have between us. They only want to break us up for their own happiness but we have to find our own happiness." He blinked for the first time since our eyes conversation started, "and my happiness is with you."

"You have to search for a good life, Anthony." I fought against his sweet words more and more. It was like I was in a war between my heart and my brain. He was the voice of my heart.

"But you are my life." His finger caressed my hard knuckles bringing a shot of warmness through my cold body.

"Anyways," I looked back up at him, a half of me wanted to just yell at him for getting pulled over but the other half was grateful that he was alright, "we will talk about that when you get out of here."

He bowed his head, not wanting to tell me what Beth told me on the phone. Little does he knew that I knew everything. I watched him struggle to tell me that he refused to do the tests but that didn't pass by me without having to do something about it. On my way here, I kept calling and recalling Clifford. When he finally picked up his phone, he reminded me that it was so late to call but I told him about my problem.

"He's my boyfriend." I remember telling him that without him thinking about it when he asked me who he was to me. He assured me that he will be able to help because he has connections. I didn't ask a lot about it and told him that I will go first with Rita and he can join us whenever he can. He told me that he will be right there.

I placed my hand on his chin and gently pushed it up, a gesture he used to do every time our eyes break its contact. I simply smiled and told him "you'll get out." I didn't explain how or when. I gave him the information he needed and he was very confused on why I was very confident on what I was saying. I wasn't though. I was confident on what Clifford told me. He never promise me anything and ended up not doing it.

The silence filled the place and I almost forgot what is a comfortable one. I forgot that there is a time when words aren't needed, it suffocates you with words that are better left unsaid. I wanted to blame him for my unbearable pain, I wanted to tell him to stop hurting me, I wanted to assure him that if he wasn't in trouble, he would have never seen me again but I stayed silent. That wasn't the right time or the place to speak about what my brain kept building up as broken thoughts.

A few seconds later, heels stepped closer to us which forced me to withdraw my hands from his grasps and take a few steps back.

"Beth," said Anthony, with warning tone that explained exactly what he wanted to say.

"I had to." She responded. "She called someone to help you and he's talking to a cop outside." She shared the great news with us, the news I was waiting to hear for the longest time.

* * *

The plain creamy walls were very depressing to me. I told them that meanwhile they finish all what they needed to do, I'll be waiting outside. I need to breathe some fresh air because I felt that this place took all the oxygen out of lungs.

I sighed, smoke escaping my hot mouth and closed my eyes under the heavy stars. It was cold, very cold to be standing outside but I needed it. I needed the coldness to wake me up, not just physically but emotionally too. I know I want to spend my life by his side, I want to leave earth as I call him mine, but how many things will I have to give up on to win my love for him? How many things will I have to lose to stay by his side? Will I ever regret it?

"Bella," Beth called, breaking my line of thoughts. I gave her a small smile and waited for her to approach me. When she did, I could tell that she didn't know what to say. She didn't know how to make me feel better. She didn't know what it took for me to not be so sad and that made two of us. "Are you okay?" She asked. I nodded, choosing not to answer her. "Listen, what I know you're mad at him but you also have to be happy that he's alright. You didn't see what he did in the party just because you two aren't together anymore."

I raised my eyebrows, wanting to know but at the same time, did I really need a prove to assure his love for me?

"He isn't okay without you," she said, "he got very drunk, fought with Kade and hit Noah, all before the accident he did and got arrested. All in one day because you pushed him away." What she was saying was very nice, if I heard it a few days ago I would have been so happy to hear how much I have an effect on him when I'm away, but for some reasons, that had no effect on me. I feel numb and he was the reason of it. "I'm not forcing you to be back with him, and I'm not telling you all of this because I'm his friend but at least, think about it." She took a step closer to me and tapped my shoulder, "I'm telling you this because I know, and see, Anthony as a better person with you."

Right when she finished her words, I heard my name getting yelled by the voice that changed my entire life. I turned to look at him, a very dramatic scene took place as we stared at each other with a huge distance between us, as if this represented us, this represented our love, despite all the distance life creates between us, we still manage to look into each other's eyes.