A N T H O N Y
When I opened my eyes, I realized that I fell asleep for a couple of minutes. That's how tired I was, to fall asleep in jail. With all the tests I went through for them to realize that I was drunk and all the annoying questions they kept asking me, I chose to stay here. If they were doing all that to make sure that I was drunk, I was so ready to tell them myself that I was.
"What are you all doing here?" I stood up from behind the bars.
"What do you mean, Anthony! We are your friends." Beth said. I only called Jace for help to come and do something to get me out of here but they want me to examine my blood and breath and shit and I'm not going to accept that. So obviously when I told that to Jace, he had to call someone for help and who he chose to call? Beth and Steph.
"Guys, please leave." I looked away, going back to sit down.
"You need to accept the tests they want to do, Anthony so you can get out of here," Steph said, with pity in her eyes with her soft voice. That was exactly why I didn't want them to know, all they can do more to me is give me pity, which was the last thing I wanted to have in that moment.
"I am going to do what I want to do." I gave her a warning look. It is my life, I am the only ruler of it.
"Call Bella," Jace whispered Beth and I quickly got up and rushed to them.
"If you do that, it will honestly be the last time we talk, Beth. That was for all of you." I pointed at all of them. The last thing I want right now is Rose to come and pity me too. Yes, I'd love to see her and yes, I'd really be happy if she comes here and tells me that everything will be fine. I knew I'd feel safe if she was here but if she comes here, it won't be a good experience for her. What I made her go through is more than enough for anyone her age.
When I was sure that my statement was very clear to each one of them, I went back and sat down.
"Then do the tests and let them do the procedure they need to be out," Jace told me and I hardly refused.
"No," I made it clean, one more time. Right when I closed my eyes to have one moment of peace in this hell hole, a voice called out, reminding me that this place is too cold to be hell and too hot to be heaven.
"Anthony," her voice was familiar, far, far away, from the unknown. Everything is happening to me because of her. Everything bad.
"Who told her?" I looked at the three friends in front of me, who raised their hands in defense when I looked at them with accusations in my eyes. "Then how did she find out?" I yelled and the officer stared at me with wide eyes. I blinked and looked back at her.
"You can't be serious. You don't even want me to be here when you need someone?"
"I don't want you near me at all, Lindsay." I got up and walked towards her. The only thing that separated us was the cold metal fences. I was grateful for them, for the first time since I came here.
"But I will not leave your side when you need me the most. I know you need me. Deep down inside of you, you need my company next to you."
R O S A B E L L A
My heart was pounding as Rita drove into the night. Everything was so dark, even the mood didn't want to listen to me crying again. I am tired. I am tired of feeling weak because of him, I'm tired of having to be put into situations that I never got to put in before meeting him. The stress, the pain, the tears. Everything around him leads to fear that I can't live with for so long.
"Are you okay?" Asked Rita for the thousandth time since we stepped into this car. I was fine, I knew but fine doesn't mean happy and happy doesn't mean alive. I am in a state of mind that I can't be either sad or happy, I feel numb. I don't know what to feel. I can't feel. All I know is that I got a call, telling me that he is arrested and doesn't want to do the tests which make them stop the procedure to get him out, without realized and under the pressure of my shock, I grabbed my phone and yelled at Rita to follow me because I need to go get him out. No, it wasn't under the pressure, I wanted to. I want to go and make sure that he was okay, that he was safe, that he doesn't need anything, not for him even, for myself. I was even selfish to know how he feels. Or maybe I care about how he feels but can't admit it, I don't know.
"Yeah." I finally said. The smell of the rain always reminds me of pain. One day, the sound of the drops that meets the streets was calming to me. Only because I had nothing to care about. I had nothing serious to take my calmness away. "You know when you just feel like you have to be somewhere to help someone but you really don't know what to do? Or even why you are going? Or why you are caring so much?"
"I feel you." She said. She told me she feels me but she doesn't. Why every time do we get this answer though? We don't even know what empathy really means. We can't control what we feel, we can't feel what people are feeling but we can know how to feel empathy, it's like being completely healthy but tell someone who's in pain "I feel you." No, you don't. Empathy is not to feel what people are feeling, empathy is to have the ear that can listen when people wants to talk about their pain. It is a choice we make; to pay attention, to expend ourselves. It is okay to not feel the same way, sometimes we care for one another because we know we should but this doesn't make our caring hollow. I will listen to his pain even when I am deep into my own, this is empathy.
***
When I arrived in front of the jail, my heart weakened, knowing that he is held back inside, held back like a hostage that is completely innocent but peace chose to play hide and seek with him, except, it hid somewhere unfound and watched him struggle to find it.
"Ready?" Rita asked me a question that I will always have a "no" answer for. I will never be ready to step inside and see him broken. I will never be ready to see him behind bars, unable to leave a place if he wants to. I gulped and nodded, not trusting my voice.
I walked closer and closer to the door, every step I took felt like a huge effort. This place looks so depressing, inside out. I was very unstable when I stepped into this dark building. Rita told me something I couldn't make out of something to understand then walked away from me, talking to someone behind a counter. She was probably asking about him.
She smiled at me then nodded at me, a sign to make me follow her and I did. My steps were slow because I knew that I wasn't ready to see him, let alone see him broken, in pain and helpless behind bars.
As I stepped closer to where he was, even behind seeing him, I saw Lindsay. My heart shattered when I heard what she was saying and all of sudden it hit me that I shouldn't be here, that I don't have a place anywhere near him anymore.
"But I will not leave your side when you need me the most. I know you need me. Deep down inside of you, you need my company next to you."
Despite, as much as I tried to stay silent and not answer, I couldn't. No, I didn't try because I couldn't stay silent hearing what she saying.
"He should be grateful for your company, right?" I smiled.
She looked at me and her soft eyes turned evil. I could see it, she hated me, she hates my presence because she knew, in a blink of an eye, I could take him back from her.
"You know, Lindsay, what is your problem?" They all stared at me as if I was about to preach. "Your problem is that you really don't know your worth." I let out a really loud sigh then took a deep breathe to explain exactly what I wanted to explain. I approached them and appeared in Anthony's view but I didn't turn to look at him yet even if I felt his eyes burning my profile. "I spent with Anthony only a couple of months, we fought a lot, yes but we'd always go back together. You know why? Because we are two that can love. Unlike you. You don't like him, you just want to possess him, you want him to be yours so you know you have someone by your side. But I can guaranty you that he never will, you know why? Because a heart can only hold one person and one person only. Even if Anthony looked at you or desired you when we were together, I understand him." I smiled.
"You're very weird, girl. Normally, when a girl feels that her man doesn't want her and loves another girl, she leaves." She crossed her arms, ready to fight but I didn't sign up to a war, I was saying what I was saying because of one reason only; myself.
"The reason of him letting you do that is because of our fights, he comes to you to let out what he can't tell me. It's like the man that id hungry so he eats and eats and eats and when his trash gets full, he takes it out and never think about it again."
YOU ARE READING
ROSE
Romance[STORY NOT EDITED] She was in love with him because he was her home when she needed to hide from the storm, he was her sun in rainy days, he was her cure when she was hurt and whenever she needed arms to hold her tight or hands to wipe away her tear...
