ROSE

9. Distant

♡

It mind be dumb, but I was still not over Anthony's comment about my phone. I felt stupid caring and overthinking about it but at the same time, I couldn't stop myself from analyzing the whole situation.

I know he probably didn't mean to do so and I know he probably didn't have any bad intentions and he isn't a bad person after all. But this small comment he made reminded me of something so important that puts a huge wall between the two of us; our lives are so different.

Not only because I'm still starting to have my own life and build it slowly when he already has his all planned out for him, but also because the path of his life is way far from mine. He is a businessman and I'm, for sure, won't be able to follow along his life. He is rich and I'm not. His mind is set way different from mine and on top of all that, he doesn't look like someone I can trust.

And the last one was added when I saw him smiling to a girl this morning. Yes, it's a smile from his part but from hers, it's way more than just a smile. She was leaning in and holding his shirt and whispering things in his ear and somehow I forced myself to look away. I didn't want this life. I don't want someone that I will have to always have my eye on the girls around him to make sure that he doesn't pick one of them over me, I don't want to always live with this fear.

And these were enough reasons to stop thinking about keeping Anthony in my life.

I sighed and took my book, ready to walk away but a familiar voice called my name and I found myself ignoring it, hoping it won't call again as I walked away but it did and I forced myself to stop and look behind me.

"Hey." Anthony smiled. I blinked.

"Hey." I smiled.

Maybe I was happy he talked to me and left the girl to come say hi to me but again why do I care? I just met the guy.

All the thoughts that I had a few seconds ago ran away from me as soon as I met his eyes. It was a weird feeling that never happened to me but I forced myself to be distant even though I really didn't want to.

"How are you?" He asked with a small smile, taking a few steps closer.

"I'm good." I nodded. I didn't ask about himself, not to be mean but because I was so nervous, thinking about how to be slick with sliding out of the conversation. But I guess he realized from how differently I'm acting.

"Are you okay?" He asked with a frown filing his whole forehead. His eyes shut a little and I shook my head to not take the moment to examine his features.

"I have to go to my class now so I need to leave." I said and without waiting for his response, I stormed out of the room.

When I finally knew that I wasn't in his sight anymore and that he couldn't see me anymore, I calmed down a little. I slowed down my steps speed and tried to breathe normally again.

Why am I so nervous?

That was the question I kept asking myself not only until I walked in the class room but also after I left and walking to the locker. I couldn't stop thinking and thinking and as much as I hated it as much as I kept catching myself thinking about what he told me before and how he helped me. His green eyes never left mine.

The only moment my brain stopped thinking is when I saw him standing right in front of my locker, talking to the same girl of earlier. All the excuses in the whole world filled my head but I refused to let them win.

Him leaning on my locker stopped me from going to get my books. I said that if it took me to not study for one day just to avoid him, I will do it. I turned and walked from the other side then left.