Photograph #9//Lil Peep || Rewriting

#19💔

It was nearly concert time and Peep hadn't arrive yet. I sat in the dress room with Rachel as she showed me how she kept track of Peep's merch, and damn that shit was hard- so many numbers to mark down.

"After the show's over, you're up at the merch table putting them away?"

She nodded her head, "I think, you have the easiest job for the tour"

I had to agree.

Before we could say anything more, the door swung open and I saw Peep walk in with his crowd of people.

Rachel and I got up off the couch and they all began to sit down, some sitting on the floor,

"Yo rach, get the drugs on the table"

She went into a black suitcase pulling out a silver case, she opened it on the coffee table and before my eyes I saw plastic bags with pills inside, a few strains of weed, bottles of pills, and white powder in smaller-smaller bags.

I took a step back, having this urge to walk out and erase what I saw. Peep took a seat in the middle of the couch and looked up, seeing me for a moment- and turned away.

It was like... in that moment I became a ghost, unrecognized- completely and entire gone.

I slipped out the room and took the hallway to the entrance of the venue and approached a pair of security to allow me onto the floor.

They let me pass through and waited around for Peep to get on stage, I didn't know what to think of him anymore.

--

The next morning- woke up: you know the fucking routine by now. However this time, I chose to call up Jess. Bitch better answer.

"Heyyyyyyy! Babes!"she answered.

"I misss you!" I say, in a very sad voice because I meant it.

"I miss you too! How's it going?"

"Uhhhh, its fine- its very tiring, there's like a show in 7 hours- then we're off to New York"

"Damn girl, traveling around- I'm so jealous"

"It's not as fun as it sounds, everyday is fucking insane- I try to sleep as much as I can"

"Awwwww,"

"I know, well my first pay check is like two days so I'll be wiring some money out to you for rent and what not, how are you holding up on food?"

"With you gone, I think I'm getting a bit too thin"

"Damn I wish I was home right now, in my room- I've never been more content than when I'm alone, by myself, doing my thing" (👈stolen movie line)

"Awww, babe- just finish up and come back to me"

"I will, it'll be over soon, when I do something like this again- talk me out of it"

"Don't say that"

I sigh, "well I gotta go,"

"Don't be so sad- we'll be back in each other's arms in no time"

I laugh, "thanks Jess, I really needed to hear your voice"

"Love you too babe, I'll miss you"

"Miss you too"

We hang up, and I turn on my stomach, closing my eyes for what seemed like a moment. But next you know, I heard a bang on my door, "Rose, get your ass up- we got a show to get to"

I stagger my way to the door and opened it, the guys were waiting up for me down the hall. Shit.

I went to gather my camera and the small bag of lens, when I turned Peep was standing there, smiling. I walked pass him, into the hall, he followed behind me- closing the door to my room.

He pushed himself into my shoulder a few times before I got mad, "Quite your shit!"

The guys heard it and might've looked surprised but I didn't feel the need to see the look on their face.

"Why you acting like a bitch" peep laughed as we got into the elevator, "until you stop being an asshole" I shot back, moving myself away from him.

We went down to the van and got in, but I took the seat beside Zack as Mark had to sit with Peep in the back.

--

After all the guys got out, I lagged behind them- and did what my job description said: take pictures.

--

After the show, I got into the van first and sat in the back as everyone got in. Peep came into the van with two people and sat in the front.

On the way back to the hotel, they were talking and laughing. I glanced at Peep and he saw me, giving me a small childish wave. I turned my head back to the window and there he came...

Singing a song of his as he struggled to crawl over the two rows of seats that separated us,

"One more chance, baby gimme a kiss
You got one more chance at a night like this, You can hold my hand in the back of the whip, whip
I saw the plug at the club, came back with a brick"

Corny af, but it made me laugh.