Photograph #9//Lil Peep || Rewriting

#93

REALITY... November 13th, 2017

I woke up pulling myself away from Makonnen's arms, picking up a bottled water off the floor- taking it to my lips and slamming it down.

Then I pull on my pants and went into the closet for a shirt to wear, the tour bus made a sudden stop and that caused me to fall to the floor, "Fuck!"

"You okay?" Asked Mackonen from his sleep.

"Yeah" I reply, as I picked up my phone to text Arzaylea back.

Her: I love you monkey get some rest ❤️❤️ I'll see you tomorrow babe 🙈🙉

-Ily to monkey 🙉❤️ see you soon

I go to the front of the tour bus, where Bex was- laying on the floor- drugged out. I sit on the couch and look at the ceiling, "Are we almost there?"

"We're almost to El Paso just 10 more miles Peep"

I sit there for the duration of the drive and once we came to a stop, it was 5 AM. Manager told me to stay put, but I decided to have Frank (the driver) to drop me off outside the airport.

"I hope she's doing fine" said Frank as I got off, nodding my head, "Thanks Frank"

I went into the airport and showed them my ticket, went through security and landed into a chair- in coach- looking out the window as the airplane got filled.

"Non stop flight to Los Angeles California" said the intercom and off we went. For that flight- I slept and woke up to a blue sky as we landed.

When I got out the airport, I had an Uber waiting up for me- and it took me to the hospital- where Olivia was hooked to a breathing machine- in a 8 month coma. She never made it to the interview, she flipped on the freeway below the bridge on the way there.

--

I sat in front of her body and cried, holding her hand- seeing the rose tattoo, knowing she didn't have nobody but me.

Over the course of time, I learned so much about her... That I created a fantasy world- thinking she was there with me... only taking place when I got fucked up.

On 5-1-15, her friend Ashley committed suicide- by cutting through the bridge's fence and jumped into to the traffic below her...

And just two months after Ashley took her life, Olivia's best friend- Jess drove with a .08 intoxication level- no seatbelt and died instantly

Then her father died, brain tumor- and died July 18th 2016

As for her mother, she was shot down at the cemetery, 4 months ago- on Olivia's father's grave... by the cousin who got out of prison- he claimed in court that she sexual abused him... he was put to 30 more years in prison.

--

"How is she doing?" I ask when the Nurse came in to check her vitals.

"She doing better than normal," she says, marking down numbers off the screen that read her heart beat, "She's been make tons of progress while you've been away"

I kiss Olivia's rose tattoo and rubbed her hands in mine, "Pigeon, your going to be okay, you hear that- your making progress"

The nurse smiled, "Before you go Mr. Ahr the nurse's station will like to give you some papers to fill out"

I nodded my head and she walked out- which allowing me talk to Olivia, telling her how we met... "On that bridge, March 11th 2016- I was 19 and you were 18- (refer to #26 and #68)just two days from your birthday- sad how we made plans to meet up at the bridge on your birthday and your ass" I laugh, "didn't come through, I even got you a camera from this thrift store- wrapped with some Christmas wrapper because that shit was on sale for like 50¢ at Walmart, my mom has it for safe keeping- knowing me, I'd probably get fucked up and throw it out"

--

"Here's your bank statement" said the nurse, handing me the billing for Olivia's care, "Sign here, and she'll be good for another month"

I sign and pass it back, "If she wakes up, I would like to sign her up for a rehabilitation packet... how do I go about that?"

The nurse pulled up a stabled bundle of paper, "Have this filled out to the best of your ability- and bring it back with you on your next visit"

On my flight back to El Paso, I couldn't get myself through the first page... after putting down her name and birthday- I gave up. Throwing the packet to the floor- pointing my middle finger to it.

--
When I got back to tour bus, Chase was there going in a rage.

"Fucking Peep- You have a show in two hours- where the fuck have you been?"

I threw down the packet of paper, "You know where I've been"

"Mother fuck! You need to stop obsessing over a girl you don't even know, giving up so such if your money- and the other morning I saw that you withdraw 35,000 dollars to a school in LA- what the fuck Peep!"

"I also need you to write up a statement to the hospital she's staying at- she's making process and when she wakes up- I want her under the best rehabilitation- the hospital has to offer" I say, ignoring everything he has to say.

"For Christ sake Peep- get your head out of your ass-"

I walk further to the back of the tour bus, and close the door- taking a nap before the show.