#85

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by vxlaxv

by vxlaxv

Peep's POV

"What were you thinking Gus"

I shrug, and continued to look at the ceiling. Feeling nothing as she spoke even more.

"the doctors won't tell me how she's doing- I hope she's okay"

I nodded my head, as my vision started to blur from the tears that were forming, and off it went rolling down my cheeks.

I swallow the huge lump in my throat, "Has anyone seen her?"

"When Bex and I tried to see her- the doctors told us we weren't allowed because her mother said so"

I didn't speak- remembering what Pigeon told her mom.

"I know you wouldn't put anyone in that sort of danger" my mom adds, taking my hand into her's.

It was a shared suicidal attempt, but she didn't need to know that.

"What floor is she on?" I ask, concerned about her comfort.

"I think like four floors below us in the public ICU"

I shake my head, "Have my management team contact the hospital and have her place into a better unit"

"I'll call Janet when I get back to my hotel, Oskar went to get us some food- he'll be back very-"

She spoke too soon, he walked in with Chic Falay- setting it on the table, below the TV.

"Peppy you stupid son of a bitch, what in the hell were you thinking- driving 90 down the freeway at 6 AM in the fucking morning?" He asked, pulling out the boxes from the bag, then took a sip of his drink, "Ahhhhh that hit the spot"

My mom got up, walked to the table and sat to eat. Oskar came over and sat in her place, "Come on, talk to thee Oskar- what in hell were you thinking?"

I shrugged, slowly pulling up my middle finger to his face.

"If you weren't laid up like this- I would've kicked your ass- but since you are- I'm going to let it slid -just this once Peppy"

He always knew how to make situations like these....... -comical? The common relief.

"Since you don't wanna talk about it, we'll just watch some Operah-she's usually on at this time" he got up for the remote and turned on the TV, "Mom can you hand me my food"

She came over with his food and drink, as he kicked back- looking to the screen- laughing at the commercial of an elder laying on the floor, then he nugs my shoulder with his elbow, "Look Peppy that's you"

I smile and shake my head, turning my attention to the ceiling, wishing I was more like him. More practical, less emotional- more different, less me. If that makes any sense, fuck it- that's how I felt- sorry if you don't get it.

When my mom went into the restroom, Oskar elbowed my arm- I turn my gaze away from the ceiling.

"So why did you do it"

I looked away, not wanting to answer.

"Mom and I were at the hotel- getting ready for the exhibit- think we were going to fly out to your sold performance Tucson- I mean everything was planned out, then we got a call from Bex"

"What Exhibit?" I asked.

"That was the surprise- Olivia was suppose to get you to LA- and take you to the exhibit- everything was set up, from the food, to the people coming, to your fans who could line up outside to see your photos on the wall- we even had some fan art enlarged- and Marvin who got your clothing brand officially started- that was the big surprise- it was like a birthday gift from all of us- we thought it be a great way to end your tour- but nnnnnnoooo! Not Lil Peep- he had to come in and fuck it allllll up for the rest of us"

I turned my head away, taking in everything he said, "Just shut up, I love you"

Before Oskar could say another word, our mom came out- sitting back in her chair. He turned his head back to the tv and continued to eat.