Photograph #9//Lil Peep || Rewriting

#90

Just three days before Christmas and I finally left the house (because I was out of pills)- wearing the ugly Christmas sweater my mom had custom made a few years ago. And since Oskar is older he had Thing 1 stitched on the front. I had Thing 2.

I put on a beanie and write my mom a note:
Going out be back soon I luhhh u

Out the door I left, taking the back exit- to a sidewalk- making my way to a old spot where I bought my drugs. Went into the apartment building and went up a few stairs- then knocked on the door.

It took a moment for someone to answer, Toni stood there- giving me a hand shake, "How's it going man?"

"Great, you?" I ask.

"I've just shooting- getting the bills paid-" he says, referring to the crazy heroine addiction he had, "So what do you need punkstar"

I laugh because he gave me that nick name after I told him what I wanted to do with my life, "Just a few of the same old"

He nodded his head, "Come on in"

The place hasn't changed, except a picture of his younger brother on his wall who I grew up with. Unfortunately, he was killed after he started to be who he was- a trans and that pissed a lot of people off.

I look at the picture as he scales out my drugs, "Here you go, ready as you want it" he says, I turn away from the picture- holding out the money to him and did a swap. I put the stuff into my pocket, "Thanks Tones"

He nodded his head, starting up a cigarette- inhaling and exhaling the smoke, "Its been so fucking hard without her. . . . . But thank you, for being her friend when nobody else would- she really appreciated everything you did for her"

--

After getting my drugs- I ended up at a this second hand store- that my mom used to buy us clothes from. I'm guessing- this is where my love for fashion started, unintentional that is. And now I'm releasing a brand. Fucking crazy.

I stood over this pile of things in a bin, looking at things then continued down a row of old fashion devices sitting on a lengthy table. Between a cassette player and a food blender, I saw a camera- I picked it up and looked it over.

I brought it to where the old lady sat, and she rang it up- looking into my face, seeing all my tattoos "$7.50"

I pull out a twenty and tell her to keep the change, although she was one of those adults who always thought I stole from her store.

When I got home, I showed my mom what I bought, "I'm going to try and see her"

"I think that's a good idea" she says, looking up from from the pile of papers she was stamping.

"Where's your Christmas wrapper?" I ask. She pointed to the closet near the front door, "I just used it last week, it should be in there- unless Oskar took some"

I opened the door and found it leaning against a lattes, I take the camera off the table and went in my room, only coming back out for tape and scissors.