They tried to hide their past from her, but of course your past always comes running back- haunting you and reminding you of everything that you did wrong.
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The truth behind Jake Collins intent...
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Be warned that the song above is not the most appropriate but I still like it haha. It's called "or nah" by Ty Dolla $ign feat the weeknd, Wiz Khalifa and DJ Mustard. You were warned so don't go at me...
Chapter seven "Starting a bucket list." || Day three of pretending not to care
I woke up this morning and stared at the ceiling. I did it said nothing, I didn't move a single part of my body. I realised that I failed, my pretending not to care act is failing miserably and I've already been unsuccessful. But we'll pretend as if I didn't fail and cry in front of everyone. Everyone meaning my mother.
It's Friday and all I want to do is stay in bed as per usual, but I throw my blankets off me with a grunt and prepare myself for school. I can't wait for this day to be over, I'll be waiting chips, ice cream and other sorts of foods while watching movies.
I arrive at school, tired and wanting to go home already. Everyone is in their little groups talking about a party that is going on tonight, while I'll just hide in my room from the world. Looking at all the friendship groups makes me think about my choices, how bad they all are and to protect myself from getting hurt. What if I don't get hurt in the end??
I sigh and look around, feeling lost and alone. But it's my fault, people shouldn't pity me because I'm the one that pushes everyone away. I catch Ruby's eye, but she just looks away and continues talking to her boyfriend Max. Tyler is standing next to them, looking bored and being a third wheel to them. Jake is no where to be found.
I guess I'm in this by myself.
The bell goes and I sigh, watching as students start swarming around the halls in a rush to get to their lockers. That's the 'good-two-shoes' type. But then there's the people that think they're so much better than everyone else and so cool if they get in trouble. So they walk slower to be lockers and get to classes late.
Today, I'm one of the people that can't seem to care. But not because I think that I'm so cool and want attention, but because it feels like class is he least important thing going on in my life at the moment. I am no good girl, I never have been. I've never cared about deadlines, I just finish them in time because I have nothing else to do but homework and assignments. I don't go to parties because I have no friends, and I've practically lost the people that I had a chance at being friends with. This time, it wasn't completely Chad and Nicks fault... it was mine. I don't drink, do drugs, smoke cigarettes or weed or vape, I do nothing. The baddest thing I've done is kick a hole in the wall. An that was an accident, my parents weren't mad at all.
Maybe I should change some of those things? Make a bucket list or something... but the first thing on my bucket list is to go to that god forsaken party. Have fun, don't let anyone boss me around, dance, eat and come home barely remembering anything from the amount of alcohol that was consumed by me.
