The Gang Leader Wants Me

Chapter Twenty Eight

"Brock was so full of life. He never failed to make me or anyone smile. He never showed how much pain he was in, he was so courageous and strong willed. There won't be a day that passes that I won't miss Brock, my son. He was taken from this world too early, he was too beautiful hearted; but we must remember the good times and not dwell on the bad. He wouldn't want that. May he stay in our hearts forever and ever. I love you Brock, I hope that you have found peace and that you aren't hurting anymore." Mums speech ends, now its me. I'm the last person and I can't find it in me to hold a single tear back. My throat burns in pain from crying and I cough standing up.

I dont let everyones pitiful eyes disturb me, I just pretend I'm talking to Brock. It's Brock and I against the world. "You were....." I go silent for a moment and take a deep breath. "You were my rock. You were so young yet helped me with so much and seemed to know all the answers. When I felt like the whole world was against me, you made sure to tell me I was loved. You never deserved this pain, Brocky. You were taken too early from us, from me. I no longer wished to see you hurt but I wish you were here, cancer free and running around like all kids should be. Y-you missed out on way too much and I hate that; it killed me inside seeing how much you wanted to go out and be a teenager but you never could because you were constantly sick. You are the best brother any one could ever ask for, no one deserved your kindness Brocky; I just wish I spent more time with you in the end. I hope you are at peace. I hope you knowhow hard letting you go will be. I love you, forever and ever. Rest in peace my dear brother, I'll.. I'll see you one day."

The tears don't stop, neither do my sobs and I dont try to stop. Nick comes up and hugs me, he holds me as I drop a flower down onto his casket. How can I let go of this? How can a person let go of someone they loved so much? It is impossible and I dont think I'll ever be able to overcome this. He shouldn't have died, it wasn't his time. It just wasn't!

The funeral ends an hour later, everyone tells me how sorry they are and hugs me. I don't say much, I leave to go to the forrest. I haven't been there for a while and I just need to let it all out. I need to cry and scream. I sit on my rock and sigh, cursing the Gods. "How could you do this!? HE WAS YOUNG, HE WAS ALMOST 16!! He had so much to live for," I throw rock after rock at trees and the ground and scream.

"Faye," oh that so familiar voice. My heart shatters into a million pieces and I shake my head, laughing bitterly. He shouldn't have showed his face to me. He shouldn't be here. "Turn around, please," yet he still seems to hold so much power over me and I hate that.

"Why are you here?" I croak out.

"To comfort you."

"TO COMFORT ME?!" I retort.

He sighs and takes a step forward, but I walk backwards. I don't want him near me. I don't want him to touch me. I was moping around because of his actions when I should have been with Brock. It was Jake's fault I was like this. "Stop moving. I'm sorry about Brock. I'm sorry about your dad and I'm sorry for hurting you," I shake my head at him, I dont want to accept his apology.

"If you hadn't have shot my dad then I would have been able to spend more time with Brock. I wouldn't have been so miserable everyday. I would have had the will to get up and talk to people but no. I loved you and you hurt me. That was the worst choice I have ever made, I should have known that you were lying about everything. I spent not even two hours with him in that past week and if you hadn't have come into my life and screwed everything up then I would have been with him!" I punch his chest, I slap him and I scream; my cries dont stop and he doesn't try to prevent me from hitting him. "Did you even love me? Was anything real?"

He grabs my wrists, having grown tired of my hits towards him. He pulls me close making my heart race wildly. How does he still have this power over me? Why am I so effected by him? His brown orbs stare into my dark ones and his face is incredibly serious.

I think I'm going to pass out.

"Of course it was real Faye, fuck. But I had to do it, you dont understand. He killed my father, my own flesh and blood," I scoff at him and push him away. I cannot believe him, it's like talking to a three year old.

"So that makes it right to try and kill my father? My own flesh and blood. You're honestly f*cked in the head, Jake. I bet you forced Ruby, Max and Tyler to be my friends too. None of this was real. So why don't you just leave me and my family alone? Stop acting like you actually give a shit when you don't. You should have never entered my life in the first place," I spit distastefully at him. For the first time, he shows his emotions. It's displayed across his face like a billboard. Hurt. Well he doesn't have a reason to be hurt.

"At first you were just a way to get to your father but now you're so much more than that, I promise. Please love, believe me. Maybe everything was fake in the beginning, Ruby and them tried to stop me but I wouldn't let them. I just punished them for their ridiculous remarks. Don't be mad at them be mad at me. We all love you, Faye. I'm trying to make things right; why won't you let me?" I stare at him dumbfounded.

I want to forgive him. I want to be able to run into his arms and kiss him to death but I can't. While Brock was in pain, I was too focused on the fact that Jake hurt me. I let him ruin me and that took me away from everyone. Now I'm barely surviving without Brock here. There are so many regrets and I can't change a thing. He was hurting and I wasn't there. He asked me to come down but I selfishly didn't listen.

He wipes my tears away, Im tempted to slap his hands away but I don't. "Forgive me, please."

Even though he is pleading, I just can't. Not yet at least. "I can't. Please just leave and give me time, I need to mourn and process everything; just leave," he sighs and drops his hand in a saddened manner. But I shouldn't feel bad. Nether-less, he turns away with a fleeting glance and walks away from my safe place. I watch his back until I cant see it anymore.

--

It's funny how people only act like they care when someone dies.

Something tragic shouldn't have to happen for people to show kindness. Unfortunately, that's the way the world works.

Many people have messaged me. People who have tormented me messaged me, people who don't know me have messaged me. It is nice and all but so fake that it annoys me. You never cared before but now when my brother passes you suddenly do? I turn my phone off and lay in the darkness. For a while I'm alone until Nick walks in. He closes the door behind me and comes to lay next to me. Straight away he wraps his arms around me and hugs me tightly; he doesn't let go.

"You okay?" I quietly ask. He shakes his head no and I sigh sadly. "I'm not okay either, I miss him Nick. He was always here and now this house just feels so empty and full of hurt. I can't bear a second of it. Now suddenly people who never cared are acting like we are friends and like they give a shit when I know they don't. It sucks. Why is everyone so fake Nick?"

"Because everyone is horrible and only says this stuff to get something out of it like pity; they act like your friend so others can sympathise with them. It's a major gossip session, they are feeding off of this and I hate that. This is our personal life and they honestly need to leave and rid themselves off our facebook and instagram pages." A tear escapes, here they come again. I hug Nick close to me and think about the day, is it wrong of me to think about Jake?

Did I make the right decision to reject him like that?

Nick's heavy breathing follows shortly, he still holds onto me tightly while my thoughts consume me dangerously. Is it wrong of me to miss him? Somewhere deep inside me is holding onto the hope that he won't give up like everyone else has. I know that's stupid of me to want this but at the end of the day I still love him and cant forget him after two weeks. I hate that. He has made me more weak than I already was. I gently remove Nick's arm from around me and walk to my balcony that I rarely go on. I look out and see him. I know it's him. He doesn't leave when I ask him to. so maybe he is trying to stay. Maybe he is going to fight for me.

With that thought, I turn away and go back to bed.

--

ooft look at me go, supplying ya'll with quick updates. Tell me what you think in the comment section

Love y'all