The Gang Leader Wants Me

Chapter Twenty Nine

"Give people time. Give people space. Don't beg anyone to stay. Let them roam. What's meant for you will always be yours."

It's amazing what death does to people. It changes them. It shapes them into someone even I can't recognise. Death is cold, empty and it brings a large void into peoples lives. But loss? Loss feels worse. In a way, death and loss are the same. Brock died. But we also lost someone important to us who  we loved. If we didn't know Brock and he had died then it would just be a death but because he's my brother it's a major loss in my life. In my parents lives. They lost their son.

 A parent losing a child is one of the worst experiences and I can tell with the way mum doesn't even move. When you look into her eyes its like you're looking into an empty soul. Dad has always been reserved and cold, void of hurt. But looking at him, it's like the pain is exploding out of him. This pains me even more. 

Nick and I haven't been attending school. How can we? I dont want to see their pitiful faces and hear what they have to say. Even if its a 'I'm sorry for your loss' speech, I just cant. This was my last year. It was supposed to be filled with joy and at my graduation Brock was supposed to be there. But he won't be. That's two weeks away. 

I'm assuming that Jake and his little followers dont go to school anymore. They're much older than what I thought they were so they dont need to attend anyway, they have already had their time to graduate so I would leave too. Ruby came to visit, I didn't let her see me of course. But then Tyler and Max came too and I ended up speaking to them all. 

Flashback ]

"Faye, please let us talk to you. We want to give you our condolences. None of that was our idea, we are in an amateur gang with Jake. what do you expect for us to tell our leader? We have to follow everything he says," Tyler says, pleading with me. 

"But you were all still involved. How could you be so cruel and pretend to be someones friend? I THOUGHT IT WAS REAL! But none of it was, it was just a sick game to get to my father; I have nothing to do with my dad's past decisions so why bring me into it all? You could have just consulted with my dad instead of using me. Using someone is one of the worst things you could do. You make them feel special, wanted and loved. At the time they may appreciate it all but when they find out the intentions were bad you're just left heartbroken. How could you make someone believe they matter then just leave? You are all vicious and cruel." I say this with such hatred in my voice, with such hurt vigour. They deserve everything bad that is coming their way for doing what they did.

"I tried to stop him Faye. But Jake wouldn't listen and he got angry and irrational towards me and everyone. He would pick a fight out of it. What was the point when everything I was saying he wasn't even listening to? He didn't want to listen. But I guess now he regrets it because he realises how much he loves you and doesn't want to lose you." Ruby says this. She was my best friend, I let her in which I don't let many people in to my mind and soul; I trusted her and invited her into my home on multiple occasions. She didn't even want to be my friend in the beginning; it was all a show. 

"What Ruby is saying is the truth. We all tried speaking to him, but your father killed his and he was left with no one; so he wanted revenge," Tyler shrugs.

"I think you know what loss feels like," Max quietly says, not having spoken for the entire time until now.

Then I snap. How dare he bring that up at this moment? " Yes I know what loss feels like. It sucks.   SO because I know how much pain it brings I would never wish it upon anyone; I would never try to murder someone, I would instead want to lock them up but not kill them. They have a family. He didn't have to make that decision! My dad was obviously young and made mistakes."

"Look, I'm sorry I didn't mean that in a bad way but of course it came out that way. We didn't come here to start drama and upset you. We came to apologise for our role in this whole thing, you're going through a lot; he didn't deserve to go this young," Max apologises.

As soon as he mentions Brock it's like a forgiving nature comes out in me because of what he said. SO, I sighed and said, "fine. But this is your last chance. All of you. This doesn't mean I forgive Jake either."

Flackback over]

Forgiveness is definitely hard, especially when someone you loved disappoints you. I know Brock wouldn't want us spending our lives being constantly sad, he would want us to try and move on and be positive. His death was tragic and he will always live in apart of me. But we shouldn't spend our lives being this way, we have to try and be happy even if it's the hardest thing in the world. At the moment, this seems impossible. 

I stand in front of mum, she looks up at me and doesn't even smile making me sigh. "Mum, Brock would hate it if he knew we were like this and not continuing our lives. Of course it's so hard to move on from this and apart of me doesn't want to move on because of how sad I am. But think of Brock, think of how sad he'd be if he knew we were just sitting around doing nothing. SO get back on your feet, try. I for one am going to be going to school today."

Mum stands, she just stares for a moment then hugs me so tightly. "I miss him so much, Faye. He was my son." She cries into my arms and I let her, trying my best to comfort her. 

                                                                           ----

Everyone's eyes follow me as I walk past, pity and shock in their eyes But I keep my head held high and dont look back at them. Max, Tyler, Ruby and Jake aren't here and they probably haven't been in a while. So they don't go to school anymore. Now I am definitely left with no one to sit with. 

I take my food and sit down outside. A guy named Brandon appears, he isn't exactly known as popular but he definitely isn't hated either. He is more of a lone wolf. I stare up at him in shock and he nervously runs a hand through his hair, what could he be doing here?  "I don't think I've ever properly introduced myself, my names Brandon."

For about two minutes I just stare up at him flabbergasted. He looks around awkwardly making me realise I am being extremely weird and awkward, so I shakily head to myself and give him a small smile. "Faye," he extends his hand and I shake it.

"Mind if I sit?" I shake my head no. He sits across from me and looks me in the eye, is this the moment where he is going to bring up my brother? Is the moment where he is going to shout 'SIKE!' and someone will come out with a camera? But what he does and says is completely different to what I ever expected. 

"Jeez my assholes itchy." 

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Hey guys expect really slow updates as I'm back at school and that of course is my top priority as work has gotten harder. I hope this update was semi decent though

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Keely