The Dark Red Umbrella • Yoonmin

Calm : 8

Warning:
(This gets a little into mental health. I know everyone deals with things differently, and in this story, the way I used to feel is very similar to the way Yoongi does. Just a small reminder that this is a fiction story, and everyone feels different ways and copes with things however is best for them 💞💞)

~

November 6th - Saturday

(This chapter goes back a couple days to the day Jimin figured out Yoongi was his neighbor.")

Yoongis pov.

~

Three hours after the blonde had shown up at his door, Min Yoongi couldn't stand it anymore. His thoughts were over-stimulating his mind, too many for him to write down like he normally could.

~

He could proudly admit that he was happy now. He was certain that he could look his old therapist dead in the eyes and tell her those exact words with pride.

~

When his last bottle of sartreline was gone he threw it away and never got another prescription, though he was highly recommended to.

But he knew he didn't need them.

It wasn't the Yoongi who was doped up so much that he couldn't really feel anything at all. It was the real him, who made that choice. His mind had been at a peaceful state long before he stopped taking the meds that were prescribed to him twice a day.

Though every once in a while everything would hit him again. It wasn't very often, every two months or so, and not enough for his therapist to be concerned. She told him that it happened to everyone every now and then.

This was one of those times.

~

Nothing specific caused them. He wasn't even sure why they happened. If someone asked him, he couldn't give them a clear reason. He didn't feel lonely, and wasn't depressed anymore like he had been for god knows how long.

But maybe that was why?

He had felt that feeling of loneliness and isolation for so long it became part of him. It was second nature for him to constantly feel like that. His body was just so used to it, that it just couldn't let it go.

Writing was the best way he could cope with it. Before he had found this outlet, he let everything out anger. He would throw things until they broke and yelled until he tired himself out.

Then he would just cry.

The wet tears would stream down his cheeks and onto his pillow as he wondered why this happened to him. Why couldn't this feeling just disappear?

Today had marked 3 months since his last one.

~

Yoongi had finally moved into the apartment had been looking at since he lived in Daegu.

After his tiring encounter with the blonde, he decided to take a nap. He was tired from the lack of sleep he had gotten the days before. To celebrate him moving, his friend convinced him to go out and party with him. He wasn't much of a social butterfly, so the times he did go out, it wore him down.

But when he woke up, he could feel it. It was something inside of him that felt like it was falling into an endless pit, that he couldn't grasp onto even if he tried. He knew it was coming. He could feel the overstimulation and sick feeling run through his body as he lay there, the reality that he had moved hundreds of miles away from home, hitting him.

Yoongi took a deep breath and got up ignoring the blanket that had fallen to the floor. He put on his headphones, took out his notebook and a pen and started writing. His handwriting was messy and got worse by the seconds. So much that you could barely tell what it was. It was rushed and confusing and half the words didn't make sense but to him they did. He was afraid his thoughts would disappear from under him, so he tried his best to scribble down every one of them.

Five minutes after he started, Yoongi threw off his headphones and yelled grabbing his hair. He wanted to scream. His head was confusing him, feeling so many emotions at once, and he couldn't stop it. He took his coat and decided to go for a walk, hoping the cold would numb him from how he felt until it wore him down. His head was a mess at the moment.

A beautiful one.

He had so much to say yet the words could never make it to his mouth.

He opened the door to his apartment but was surprised when it came to a sudden halt. He looked down and everything seemed to stop.

Time, his thoughts, everything.

He stood face-to-face with a dark red umbrella. He stared at it, his mind processing that it was actually in front of his door.

And then he laughed.

He laughed to himself as he picked it up from the ground. The laugh wasn't very genuine, but if he was able to trick his mind into thinking it was, maybe it would help. He needed something is ridiculous and is pure as this to calm his mind.

And it worked.

At least a little.

He took the umbrella with him on his walk. Though he hadn't completely recovered, he thought to himself that maybe everything would be okay. That moving here was something he didn't have to regret.

He kept the umbrella for more two days before he set it back down in front of the blonde's apartment door.