Sanders Sides- Virgil

Sadness

I left Roman's room after a few hours and headed back to my room. I don't know why, but I just couldn't......couldn't deal with him seeing me like this anymore. So I left a place of pure happiness back to this Hell Hole.

I flop down on my bed and let out a heavy sigh. I then grab my notebook of poems and a pencil, starting to write down a poem of how I feel.

A road of loneliness

Why do I feel so hopeless

Everyone is so mean they make me want to cry

Why do you always yell at me I'm giving my best try

You all call me the black sheep telling me that I'm the reason why Thomas can't sleep

So I just sulk in my room and cry until my eyes hurt

Everything inside burns

My heart is closing up inside and I just want to swallow some cyanide

No one understands me and no one ever will

I feel so worthless they are right I am useless

So just hand that bottle over so I can swallow these pills

Cuts on my arms let's make some new scars

No one would care they would just sit and stare

Why can't life be fair

Instead we all have to live through this strife

God, if you are real, please peal me of this life

Throw it away and set me free

Open the door into the unknown and help me find a home

I'm tired of living in a world that's so cold

I'm tired of this game I don't want to play

I never did I never will so just hand over a pill

I've made up my mind there is no light

I have officially died inside

So hand me that gun and this sorrow will end tonight

Goodbye Princey, your creativity has inspired me

Inspired me to make myself free

And your words of hurt has made me broken

But it's okay for the true words have spoken

Just promise me to forget this memory

Goodbye Logan, your logic has made me think

And your words of hurt now don't make me even blink

But it's okay for I am ready to disappear to fade away

Just promise me to forget me a useless memory

Goodbye Patten, your smiles have pushed me along

And your words of reassurance brought me here today

And it's okay for I do not want to suffer so don't cry for I'll now be happy

Just promise me to wipe me away from your thoughts

Goodbye Thomas, your sneer comments and your jokes have made me laugh

And your words of somewhat protection have kept me safe sometimes

But it's okay for I do not want to make you suffer any longer life will be better

Just promise me to not weep and to just get a little bit more sleep

So goodbye all, goodbye to new

This is my fall, this is it

I'm not sorry, I'll never regret for falling into this pit

Forget about me is all I have to say

Today is my last day

And if you ever think of me

Look up at the stars and think

'It's okay, he was always the bad guy

He deserved to die'

I promise you this is for the best

Goodbye

I reread what I just wrote over and over again. This is telling you that you should just kill yourself already. I grimace as the voice returns. "Just shut the fuck up," I mumble. Then I start to shove my notebook back in to my draw when I hear a voice behind me say:

"What were you writing in there?"

I look up to see Princey leaning against my bedroom door. I narrow my eyes at him. "How did you get in here?"

He smiles...God I love it when he smiles. "I summoned myself in here."

I groan. "Of course you did."

He walks over to me, sits down on my bed, and snatches my notebook out of my hand. "Hey! Give it back!" I try to grab it, but it's no use. He holds me back with an arm as he reads the poem I just wrote.

After a few minutes of struggling, he puts the book down, turns around to face me, and says, "You better not kill me for this."

I stare at him in confusion. "For what?"

He cups my face in his hands, my cheeks starting to warm up, and kisses me on the lips.