Sanders Sides- Virgil

Savior

Roman's POV:

I run up to Virgil's room and knock on the door. No answer. I knock again. Still no answer. "Virgil! You in there?" No response. "Okay, I'm coming in." I open the door to see him standing on a chair, staring at a noose that's hanging in front of him, tears streaming down his face. I look at him in shock. "Baby?"

He looks over at me and that's when he breaks down.

I run over to him and catch him in my arms before he falls. He clutches onto my shirt, his tears falling on it. "Ro-Roman...?", he whimpers.

I look into his sad eyes. "Yes, my love?"

"I'm sorry." Then he sobs into my shoulder.

I start to rub his back to comfort him. "Shh baby, I know, I know. It's okay, though. Everything is okay now. Okay? Everything will be okay. Everything is okay." I don't know who I was trying to convince. Me or him. Probably the both of us. "Do you want to cuddle on my bed?" He nods so I carry him to my room.

I set him down on the bed, turn the lights off, and then cuddle up next to him. I play with his hair while I ask, "Okay...are you ready to tell me why you tried to- to..." Tears fill my eyes and I start to silently cry. I don't want to worry him more.

He starts crying and starts to ramble. "All I am is a burden to people. I hurt Thomas by causing him panic attacks and making him overthink things and making him depressed and just...ruining his life. If I wasn't here, his life would be so so so so much better." I open my mouth to say something but he continues. "When Thomas uses logic, I give him anxiety on like a test or something and he keeps on wondering if he failed it. And the night before, I make him work hard on studying and tire him because he's so anxious about getting everything right. When he does a video or makes something creative, he has anxiety about if everyone will like it or not. Then he freaks out until people say how they feel about it, and most of the time, they love it. So I made him freak out for nothing and made him waste his time and energy over nothing. Then when he does something nice for someone, I give him anxiety on if the person will like it or not. I cause him panic attacks, I cause him to cry over stupid little things, I cause him to be sad, I cause him to be depressed. Every time something bad is going on in his life, or if he fucked something up, it's my fault. Everything wrong with him is me. Everything wrong he's ever done is because of me. All I am is a useless burden to him." He sniffles and goes on. "Then with you, Logan, and Patton. I cause Patton to maybe have heartbreak or whatever since he can feel how we're all feeling all because I'm a depressed fuck up. What if he starts to cut himself because he feels my depression so much that he himself starts to become depressed? I don't want him to hurt himself. I don't want him to! He deserved to be happy! You all do! But I don't...I don't deserve anything..." Virgil pushes away from me and stands up. "Especially you. All I do is cause you worry over me, a useless piece of shit who is worthless. I just..." He starts shaking and more tears come out. "I just don't understand what you see in me. I don't deserve you. I don't deserve a loving family. I don't deserve good friends. I don't deserve to eat. I don't deserve to be healthy. I don't deserve to be happy. I don't deserve to be alive. I don't deserve anything! But somehow, I keep on getting it! I wish I didn't. I wish I had nothing so it would be easier to kill myself. So it would be easier for the world to move on from me. If I had no one, nothing would miss me. It would be easier to commit suicide that way. But I can't do it!" He buries his face in his hands so I take the chance to go over to him.

I get up and spin him around and hug him. "You don't hurt Thomas. I promise. We need you! I need you! You deserve everything in the world! Okay? I love you."

He mumbles back, "I love you too."