Sanders Sides- Virgil

Smile

Roman's POV:

I place Virgil on his bed and cover him in blankets after taking off his sweatshirt. It needs to be cleaned, wether he likes it or not.

I look at Virgil and smile and say, "I'll be back, love. I'm going to go get you breakfast and do...something else." He gives me a confused look but I dismiss it and kiss his forehead. "You just try to get some sleep." He closes his eyes and falls asleep instantly while I shut the door quietly.

I go downstairs, open the cabinet under the kitchen sink, take out a trash bag, and start throwing sharp objects in there. All of the knives, everything. I just throw them in the trash bag.

Patton looks up at me, confused. "Roman, what are you doing?"

"I'm removing all of the sharp objects in this household so Virgil doesn't use them to...ya know..." I sigh heavily and continue.

Patton follows me into the living room and says, "Kiddo...what if he finds the trash bag?"

"He won't."

"Why?"

"Because I'm putting it out on the street today and the garbage truck will pick it up." I move on to upstairs into my room, throwing away the blades I took from Virgil's room.

"Wow."

I look over at Patton. "What?"

"You must care about him a lot."

I smile a little bit. "Yeah...I do."

"Oooooh, you're shining like a diamond now! Tell me what's on your mind."

I scratch the back of my neck as we go to Logan's room, knowing that Patton wouldn't have any sharp objects. I continue my work as I say, "Well...I just think that he's really cute and adorable and funny and smart and he writes really good lyrics and he draws really good and I think he's even more creative than me! Though, every time I try to tell him these things, he always denies them." I frown. "The only thing I don't like about him is how much he hates himself. I wish I could give him all of my self esteem and happiness for just one day." I start to cry. "For just one day so he can no what it's like."

Patton frowns and gives me a hug. "I feel the same way, kiddo. I feel the same way."

"I just want him to be happy." I cry into Patton's shoulder. "And Thomas isn't helping any." I pull away from Patton, sit on Logan's bed, and bury my face in my hands. "I am so pissed off at him that there's no such words to describe it."

Patton sits next to me. "Well, in time, everything will be okay again."

I look up at him. "And how long will that be?" Patton doesn't say anything. "Exactly. No one knows! I just wish that everything would be okay..." My anger diminishes. "...for everyone." I sigh. "Look how long it's been for Virgil getting better. It's been years and he's still at the bottom, cutting and crying. I wish there was a button that you could push to make anyone happy at that exact moment. But there isn't. You have to make them happy or they have to make themselves happy and that's not possible for some of us. Some of us are so depressed- so weak- that we can't even help ourselves. And Virgil is in that category. He thinks so badly about himself that he dismisses anything nice that someone says about him. The voices in his head convince him that he's just a piece of shit nothing, when in reality, he's not." I get up, grab the bag, and head into Virgil's room.

I quietly open the door, literally standing on my tippy toes. I go into his room, look under stuff, open drawers, and throw stuff in the trash bag. I keep doing this until half of the room has been searched through. Then I go over to his nightstand and look at his beautiful sleeping body. His eyes are closed and he's hugging a pillow close to him. He gets very cuddly when he's tired and it's so adorable.

I open his nightstand drawer and start to empty it out. I didn't know someone could have so many blades, razors, and knives. Unrealistic, yes, but so are we.

I close the drawer a little bit too loudly. Virgil sits up straight in bed, shrieking. Crap. I forgot that he hates loud noises.

I put down the trash bag and sit next to him, pulling him into a hug. I run my fingers through his hair and say, "Shhh shhh. It's okay, it's okay. It's alright now. Everything is alright." I feel him relax and my hold on him becomes less tight.

He looks up at me and asks in confusion, "What are you doing in here?"

"Uhhhh...I was picking up trash around the house so I thought I would go to your room last since you were sleeping. Sorry for waking you." I hope that's believable.

He smiles and hugs me. "Thanks Princey."

I smile. "No smile Virgie."

He gets up and says, "I'm gonna go downstairs and make an omelet. You want one?"

I shake my head. "No, I already ate, but thank you."

He smiles. A true, bright smile that even reaches his eyes. "Okay. Love you. I'll be back soon." Then he goes downstairs.

I get up and remove the rest of the sharp objects from the house without Virgil noticing with a smile on my face. He's actually happy. He's actually happy for once! I feel like jumping up and down like a kid in a candy store. No one probably understands how happy I am right now. It's so rare to see Virgil smile a genuine smile. But when he does, I feel my heart melt. His smile is so beautiful. He is so beautiful! He just doesn't see it. I wish he did it, though. But maybe he will someday. Maybe he will.