Sanders Sides- Virgil

Dead Bodies Everywhere

Virgil's POV

After I push Roman away, I quickly get up and run to my bedroom, slamming the door behind me. I hear him calling and chasing after me, but I just ignore him. I'm too pissed off right now to think clearly.

My hands start to shake and I start to pace around my room, breathing hard, repeating, "Roman still loves me. Roman still loves me," over and over again. Then the voice steps in.

He never loved you! Didn't you see him practically making out with Carelessness? And he even defended him, which was going against you! He never loved you. All of those kisses, all of those hugs- they were lies. All lies. Lies, I tell you, lies!

I start to sob and I fall down to my knees, crying into my hands, my body shaking all over. Why did he have to hurt me? Didn't he know that I was already broken enough? He must have because I told him all about my problems. About the cutting, the starving, the voice, everything. And he probably told Carelessness about it and now they're probably laughing at me, enjoying the fact that I'm suffering all alone. If he always hated me, he should've came out and said it a long time ago. Then I wouldn't have to deal with this antagonizing pain.

I start to cry harder, so I dig my nails in the scars that I made yesterday, which opens them all up again. They bleed and seep into my sweatshirt. I rip off my hoodie and shirt and open up the cuts on my chest with my nails, the blood slowly trailing down and making a puddle on my rug. That'll be stained, but hopefully I'll be dead before I have to worry about that.

"Virgil! Let me in! I never liked Carelessness! I love you!" Roman.

I block my ears with my hands and scream while crying, "Go away!"

More knocks and bangs come from my door. Roman then shouts, "I will break down this door if I have to to stop you from hurting yourself! You hear me!?"

I heard him alright. I start to pull at my hair with my bloodstained nails. I don't want him to come in and see me like this. Hell, I don't want to fucking see him. It'll just piss me off more. But of course, here he is, still banging at my door. Sometimes I wish that he didn't have that fire in him. Especially now.

I rock back and forth, crying, as I hear my door start to break open. As Roman pounds on my door, I start to sing a song I wrote to comfort myself.

"My closet is tight
I can't sleep at night
I'm too weak to fight
Will I ever see the light?

I'm hiding secrets within myself to become someone better, someone else
But how can I survive while the world is spitting out so many fucking lies?
There's so much hate here in this world to thrive, so I just want to die
Don't you understand all of this pain and the reason why I'm drowning in my own rain?

I can't take this pain anymore
I'm drowning in despair
I'm prepared to burn from within
I'm drowning in sin
Save me from myself

I'm burying myself within the lies because deep down inside I belong with the flies
Now I know what you're thinking, that I'm just here, collecting dust
I want to surpass time, become happy and immortal, for I don't want to rust
I don't know if I can take this darkness any longer for I can't become stronger, and I can't trust

I can't take this pain anymore
I'm drowning in despair
I'm prepared to burn from within
I'm drowning in sim
Save me from myself

My closet is full of skeletons
Old past versions of me
The world refused to set me free
Will I ever be able to see?

Dead bodies everywhere
Dead bodies everywhere
So much fucking despair
So much fucking despair
Dead bodies everywhere
Dead bodies everywhere
Why so much despair?

I can't take this pain anymore
I'm drowning in despair
I'm prepared to burn from within
I'm drowning in sin
Save me from myself

Dead bodies everywhere
Dead bodies everywhere
Why can't I get rid of this despair?
Dead bodies everywhere

Right after I finish the last lyric, my door comes down with a crash. I jump at the sound for I hate loud noises and I look up to see Roman standing there, huffing and puffing. I slowly start to get up and back away, but he runs over to me and grabs my bleeding arm.

He holds on tight and asks, "Did you cut yourself again? Huh? Did you?"

I shake my head. "N-no. I-I reopened the o-old scars. All of them." I start to feel a little bit dizzy and I fall into Roman's arms, starting to see black. "Roman?" I ask.

He looks down at me with worry written on his face. "Yes?"

"Why is it so dark in here?"

His eyes widen and he rushes me to my bathroom and grabs a whole bunch of bandages. While he wraps me up in them, he keeps on saying, "You're going to be okay. You're going to be okay. Everything will be fine. Just fine." But every single time, right after he puts a bandage on me, the blood soaks into it. Now I can hardly breath. I collapse in his arms and I hear him scream no.

Roman pushes my back up against the wall and makes me look into his tear-struck eyes. He's breathing hard. Then he kisses me and keeps on kissing me, which actually keeps me from closing my eyes. He keeps on kissing my lips but then puts our foreheads together and chokes out, "Virgil, stay with me. Okay? Just fucking stay with me!" He starts kissing me again but then all of a sudden, everything goes black.