Sanders Sides- Virgil

This Is How I Disappear

Roman's POV:

It's been a week since Virgil's suicide attempt. I'm afraid to let him leave my eyesight and it's starting to get on his nerves. He's told me to stop following him multiple times but I just won't comply. I'm too scared to not watch over him. What if he tries to kill himself again or cuts himself again? That would not be good. I'm too anxious to let my kitten leave my sight, so I'm not letting him go till it's been a long time and he seems okay as he can be again. Hope that it's soon.

I head downstairs to the living room to see Virgil asleep on the couch, his hood covering his face and his earbuds in. He looks so adorable! I take a quick picture of him and make it my home screen. My lock screen is a picture of us kissing. He looks so adorable in it! But then he looks adorable in everything.

I pull out my phone and earbuds and put on me and Virgil's theme song.

Go!
To un-explain the unforgivable
Drain all the blood and give the kids a show
By streetlight this dark night
A séance down below
There's thing that I have done
You never should ever know

Patton walks in the kitchen and smiles. "Good morning, Roman!"

And without you is how I disappear

I smile. "Good morning, Patton!"

And live my life alone forever now

He walks over to the stove and asks, "Would you like some pancakes?"

And without you is how I disappear

I nod. "Yes, please, thank you."

And live my life alone forever now

"No problem, kiddo!" Patton starts to make the pancakes.

I sit down at the table, staring off into space, thinking about how adorable Virgil is.

Who walks among the famous living dead

It's funny. Virgil is a gay person who isn't interested in sex.

Drowns all the boys and girls inside your bed

He told me that he's asexual and for some reason, I wasn't shocked...AT ALL

And if you could talk to me

He said I'll do it but it doesn't interest me that much. Is that weird?

Tell me if it's so

I don't think it is. It just makes his personality even more unique.

That all the good girls go to heaven

I see Virgil walk in the kitchen and sit down next to me, one earbud hanging out.

Well, heaven knows

I smile at him. "Hey babe."

That without you is how I disappear

He smiles back. "Hi Princey."

And live my life alone forever now

"I'm listening to our song."

That without you is how I disappear

"Let me listen!"

Can you hear me cry out to you?

I hand him the other earbud and he puts it in, smiling. I've never seen him smile like that before.

Words I thought I'd choke on, figure out

And at the same exact time, me and Virgil start singing along.

"I'm really not so with you anymore
I'm just a ghost
So I can't hurt you anymore
So I can't hurt you anymore

And now, you wanna see how far down I can sink?
Let me go, fuck!"

"Language!" Patton says but we ignore him.

"So you can
Well, now, so you can
I'm so far away from you
Well, now, so you can

And without you is how I disappear
And without you is how I disappear
Forever, forever now"

Patton turns to us, smiling. "You two are a perfect singing pair!"

I smile. "Thank you!"

Virgil shrugs and says, "Thanks I guess."

Patton picks up four plates and smiles. "No problem, kiddos-" And then he trips and all the plates fall down, creating a loud crashing sound.

I look over at Virgil to see him with wide eyes and staring at the broken plates. That's when it clicks.

He has a fear of loud noises.

"Virgil?" He doesn't move. I wave my hand in front of his face. He doesn't even flinch. That's not normal for him. Something's wrong. I stand in front of him, calling his name, but he still doesn't move. This isn't good this isn't good this isn't good!

Patton looks over at us and says, "I think...I think he's in shock."

"Could this do something with...PTSD maybe...? I don't know. I'm bad at reading people."

"But you're good at reading Virgil," a voice says out of nowhere.

I look behind my shoulder to see Logan. "Could you help us out?"

He nods. "Certainly. Maybe you should try kissing him and then telling him that everything is alright."

I nod. "Okay. I'll try it." I kiss him and start running my fingers through his hair. "Baby, it's okay. Everything's okay. It was just some plates breaking on the floor. Nothing major. Okay? It's okay. Everything is okay."

And then he blinks.

Good! We almost got him back!

"Okay, baby. You're doing great! Can I touch you?" He nods. I pull him on to my lap and cradle him in my arms. "I love you. You know that, right?"

He nods and says, "I love you too."

"You scared me there," I said, laughing.

"Sorry bout that. I just...I just don't like loud noises." He shrugs. "Causes me anxiety."

"It's okay, love." I kiss his forehead. "It's okay."

He rests his head on my shoulder and instantly falls asleep.

"I'm gonna bring him upstairs. Okay, guys?"

They nod and I stand up, carrying Virgil, and bringing him upstairs to my room so he can get some rest.