Today marked exactly 365 days after Stiles and I agreed to having 'no strings attached'. And I hated it. I didn't hate the sex, I hated the fact that I couldn't tell him how I felt.
~
Stiles didn't really talk to me in school, we sat at a table at dinner and ate, listening to the group talk. Stiles occasionally joined in but I just listened.
Today he smiled at me through the corridor, then when I sat down in my lesson my phone beeped, a text from Stiles. 'Mine tonight?' It read and I sighed softly.
'Sure.' I replied.
'You okay?'
'Yeah, I'm fine.'
I switch my phone off and look ahead, scribbling down notes every so often.
~
I arrived home and begin to freshen up, I smile and walk past my mum as she's in the mirror sorting out her curled hair.
"Hey honey, we're having a garden party on Friday night, you could ask Stiles to come over? I know you go his to study all the time and you guys might need a break." She smiled innocently.
Ever since last year Stiles has become my study partner to my mother. She believes me and I feel sick every time she mentions if I'm off to study or not.
I nod my head and smile softly "sounds good, I'll ask him tonight."
"Alright, hon. Let me know." She placing a kiss on my cheek and I begin to head out, taking a deep breath and tucking my loose hair behind my ears.
~
"Hey." I smile as he smiles wider, looking up and down at me with his eyes wide.
"You look great." He pulled me in by the hand and softly held a grip on my waist, pushing me up the stairs.
"It's just a jumper and leggings, they're going to be off soon anyways, I don't know why you took notice." I sigh, heading to his room.
He shuts the door behind him, looking me up and down once again. His hands laid on my waist as his lips and warm breath caressed my neck, kissing softly then more harder as his hands found his way to my hair. He placed me on his bed, then rolled over to pull me on top of him.
His eyes met mine for a moment as his hands rested on my hips "no feelings?" He asked and I nodded my head, every bone in my body hurt with just that single movement. I didn't want to agree. I wanted more than feelings. I wanted him to be mine.
Slowly, his hand raised, slipping my shirt off as one then pulled my neck in, our lips meeting, softly kissing. His calloused hands were softly roaming my hips and waist, reaching the clip of my bra and sliding it off, then looking at me he smiled. I smiled back. I didn't want to do this anymore. I wanted to do this in a relationship. Ours was just a friendship and I wouldn't class us as best friends.
I slipped his shirt off, my hands roamed his toned stomach.
He began to kiss my neck again and I let out a pathetic moan. "You're so beautiful, y/n."
I nod slightly, my eyes closed.
He wanted lust and I wanted love.
———
My head rested on his chest, my hand flat on his stomach.
"We shouldn't cuddle." He said, plainly.
I nod my head, turning around to face the wall as a tear drops from my eye, I take a deep breath and sit up, grabbing my jumper and putting it on.
He sits up behind me, his hand placed on my waist, a firm grip on it as he frowned "are you not staying?" He asked, his grip loosening as he realised how hard it was on me.
"There's nothing to stay for." I reply, standing up and putting my underwear back on, then my leggings and socks.
"If you really wanted to cuddle then we can, I don't mind it this once." His eyebrows furrowed.
"No Stiles, it doesn't matter. There's nothing to stay for." I slide on my shoes and grab my bra, throwing it in my bag.
"But you always stay...always."
I give him a sympathetic look "I can't do this anymore."
He frowned as I turned around and left without another word, shutting his front door softly and heading out back home.
~4 months later~
1/10/18 - Stiles: Hey, y/n. Talk to me.
4/10/18 - Stiles: Y/n please.
7/10/18 - Stiles: Happy birthday
15/10/18 - Stiles: Find me, I need to talk to you
21/10/18 - Stiles: Please
Read: 28/10/18
Stiles is always trying to talk to me, even Lydia came up to me today and asked me whats up and I never even really speak to her.
"How come you don't sit with us anymore?" She asked, leaning on the locker.
I shut my locker, smiling at her and shrugging my shoulders "studying."
"Stiles seems pretty upset, you used to study with him all the time, right?" She frowns.
"Something like that." I nod and look at my biology books.
"Text me if you need any help." She winks and then turns and heads away.
I head the opposite way and hold my books tight, meeting Luke in the biology room.
"Hey!" He smiles, pulling out a chair for me.
I smile back, taking a seat beside him, opening my book and copying some notes from his book.
"Thanks for helping me catch up." I whisper, looking at the empty classroom.
"No problem, y/n." He nodded, facing me.
"Look, my mum just got a new job promotion and she's throwing a small party, and since I'll be super bored i just wanted to ask you if you wanted to come?"
"Yeah, that's fine with me, I'll be happy to." He smiled softly.
I grabbed my books and then stood up. "You coming? I'm hungry."
"Yeah, yeah." He quickly packs up his stuff and throws it in his backpack, standing beside me.
His hands softly laced together with mine and I smiled.
I smiled because Luke is someone I could fall in love with. And he's someone who I know could fall in love with me.
We walked hand in hand to the dining room, we lined up, grabbed food and he sat down across from me.
"Don't look now, Stiles is coming." Luke said and I put my head down.
"We need to talk."
I look up at him.
The dark circles around his eyes. The bloodshot eyes. The pale skin. That wasn't the Stiles I used to know.
