The Boy Across the Street (Brendon Urie)

Chapter 6: Holding on While Fingers Slips

Rebecca's POV

It's been a week with Brendon in his coma and the doctors don't know what his condition will be when he wakes up, but they believe he will. The chances look good. I've been doing research on comas a lot recently and most patients wake up after 2 to 4 weeks of being in a coma. Some patients wake up perfectly normal, but other patients can wake up with brain damage. You can wake up with no ability to walk, speak, or eat. Some people can wake up from a coma forgetting their whole life. Which scares me a lot. What if he forgets me?

I guess that's selfish. I should just be happy if he survives.

School hasn't been easy. I visit him every morning before school, during lunch, and after school. It's funny how everyone starts acting nice to you just because something bad happens to you. My mind has kinda shut off after the accidents. I don't eat, sleep, or talk to anyone really. I just space off. My parents told me I can stay home from school if I want, but I honestly need something to keep my mind off it. Not like school is doing that though. Some days I stay home and just cry. All I can think about is him. It's really unhealthy, but I can't help it.

I regret being mad at him. Veronica admitted the kiss was her. I felt stupid for believing Brendon would do that to me. I thought he did it to piss me off because I didn't kiss him. How could I think so lowly off him? All Brendon has ever been is there for me! Now if he goes, he goes with the memory of me hating him.

Maybe I pushed him away to ignore my feelings for him, but I can't anymore. I can't ignore that I love him, not while he's on his death bed. I can't ignore the feeling I get when I look at him or when he smiles. His smile has had me since day one with the perfect eyes to match. I feel kind of pathetic that it takes him dying for me to realize all this. I can't stand not knowing if I will ever have the chance to tell him how I feel, or even if he feels the same way. I screwed up big time, and I don't even know if I can fix it.

I don't know what I'll do if I lose him. I know I keep saying that, but it's true. I'll never be able to tell him how I feel. I'll never hear his laugh again. I'll never have someone there when I cry. I'll never have him. I don't know how we got here, but I just want to leave. I want this crazy nightmare to stop. I want to wake up in his arms. I want this to be over. I want to be able to lay in bed at night without crying. I want to be able hear his voice again.... I can't stand this! Every second he has less of a chance of surviving and every second my heart is crumbling more.

I don't know if I can make it through this. I don't know if he can make it through this, but I do know I'm not giving up on him, and I need to stop thinking about what happens if he doesn't make it, because he's going to wake up. I know he'll wake up. He needs to wake up. I can't do this without him, and I know that sounds selfish, well it is selfish. I'm tired and the only thing that keeps me going now is hope.

All I'm doing now is waiting. Waiting for a miracle that he'll be back one day soon. I won't hear another person's words before I hear his. He's a survivor, and he'll survive this. He needs to.

A/N: Yeah I know this chapter sucks. Don't get your panties in a twist next chapter will be longer and better. I promise. 31 views!!! Thanks guys! <3